Friday, August 26, 2005

CASE #2: HEATH + NAOMI


SUBMITTED BY: HEATH
LENGTH OF RELATIONSHIP: 4 YEARS
INFO: Naomi and I dated for a long time and it was good, but like everything, it ended. I began dating and got engaged to someone else quite soon afterwards. We did that thing where we say "Let's be friends", but I found out that it only really works when both parties truly want just a friendship. This was written after we'd been broken up for 7 months. I'm sure there was a reply, but I deleted it, Cause I'm an idiot.


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DATE: January 27th, 2005
FROM: HEATH
TO: NAOMI
SUBJECT: You gotta be cruel to be kind.


Naomi,
I'm sending this now to ease your imagination and cause we probably won't be able to get together soon to talk about it, cause you're working and I'm headin' out of town.

Anyways, here's what I have to say. It sucks but I don't see any other way. You might want to print it out and read it somewhere other than an Internet cafe. Cause it ain't pretty.

We shouldn't hang out anymore, for 3 reasons:

#1- We're not friends. I want to be just friends but you're always looking for more and until you think of it as friends instead of checking to see if my ring's gone, then it's not going to work. It's not right to hang out if you're still in love with me when I have no such feelings for you. I was naive to think that because I was over you that you'd be over me and everything would be just as I wanted it. Friends. So that's my fault. I apologize if you thought I led you on by wanting to hang out.

#2- You need time away to accept that I'm not coming back. Jump out of denial. It's over. Get the net. What we had wasn't what I wanted and what I have now is great. To stay in it to make you happy and make myself miserable would be bullshit. So I was selfish as I needed to be, and I needed everything we didn't have together.

#3- Your facade of over confidence is unattractive and really seems pathetic at times, the "I'm the best thing you'll ever have" and "you don't know how good you had it" and "You're making a mistake"... Oh, and my favorite, "when you realize, you'll be back", etc....

The fact that you think I'm making a mistake means you think I'm a retard, that I have no idea what I'm doing and making the biggest mistake of my life. How could I make a 7 month mistake? If you and I were meant to be, we'd be. But we're not. If you knew me you'd know that if this was a phase it wouldn't last 7 months and I could never be with someone who had such little faith and respect in me. It's insulting.

You, along with every hollywood movie, have said, "When you know, you know" and yeah, I know. I'm in love with Michelle now, I respect her entirety, we connect on every level and I never want to be anywhere else when I'm with her. I didn't feel that with you. That doesn't mean you're a bad person or any of that shit, it's that you're not the person for me, and yeah, I'm not the one for you.

Sorry to be a dick about it, but it's been too long and maybe I've been too nice cause it doesn't seem like I got the point across. I'd love to be friends in the future, but it's not working right now because our views clash and don't work together, it's not fair to any of us.

Your rebuttal is welcome but it won't change anything. I'm engaged, so what bigger hint do you need? This is what you need to get over cause you're wasting time thinking it will go back to normal and everything will be perfect cause it won't.

And honestly, I'm sick of breaking up with you. You're smarter than that (as you say) so prove it.
Take care,
Heath.

14 Comments:

Anonymous Swaney said...

NICELY DONE!!

S P E E L I N G it out has to be done sometimes!!

Hope you just didnt drop this on her though.. I hope she knew the score already before u sent this.

7:05 PM, October 20, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I justlove that you spelled spelling wrong there. Its perfect

8:34 AM, October 23, 2005  
Anonymous Kate said...

That would have knocked her socks off!

9:53 PM, November 12, 2005  
Anonymous Just a Girl said...

I think I'm the type of girl that needs something like this sent to me, right now. Beautifully done Heath.

5:57 PM, November 28, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

no meantion of baby matilda there... that would have been the clincher...

12:17 AM, January 27, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's a pathetic breakup, you were one of those kids that had trouble writing in the 5th grade... "Here are the reasons..." hahah formulated.

3:40 PM, July 23, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How old are you? Not trying to be snotty in the question itself, but some day (possibly soon) you will realize that there is definitely such a thing as a 7 month "phase."

5:36 PM, May 18, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wonderfully put! If guys did this instead of giving a dumb excuse the world would be a better place :-). No more wondering why.

8:42 AM, September 25, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If girls did this, the world would be a better place! I'm reading this and I'm imagining my ex writing it to me and I'll start ignoring her as is...

12:53 AM, May 31, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is way too mean..... You can say you are not in love with her.. and things won't go back anymore. But why would you need to mention something about you and Michelle?
She's still in love with you.. i can feel the pain.

4:44 AM, August 08, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually I think some people need this directness.

Were you this direct at the start of the breakup?

The reason i ask this is because my ex was all "I'm not saying 100% we'll never be together again" and even 4 months after the breakup "sometimes i miss you a lot and it hurts". Even 5 months ago I said I still have feelings for you which is why I can't be just friends, and he said it would be amazing if we didn't.

Jesus, just have the courage and integrity to be honest and not to screw me around.

Bottom line: you had no commitment to me or us and now you are gone and I feel like an idiot for wasting 10 years of my life on someone who never really wanted it.

12:32 AM, May 10, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

7 month phase? what is that?

12:34 AM, May 10, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was able to get my ex back after I followed the instructions at www.saveabreakup.com I totally recommend this site, saveabreakup.com helped me a lot, all I can say is big THANKS!!! I'm so happy now...

2:05 AM, October 20, 2010  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It sounds like Heath was tired of Naomi refusing to accept the break-up and so he really let her have it! No doubt Naomi sobbed her heart out when she read that he had dumped her for Michelle.

12:26 AM, September 13, 2011  

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