CASE # 76: RON + MARY
PICTURE AND LETTER SUBMITTED BY: Mary
LENGTH OF RELATIONSHIP: 1 year, 2 months.
FROM: Mary
TO: Ron
SUBJECT: friends don't.
friends don't:
sleep over 4-5 nights out of the week, in the same bed and snuggle,
fall asleep on the couch together watching tv,
spend xmas with his family,
get jealous and then call it disrespecting him,
send a girlfriend home to be with a best friend on more than one occasion,
call a friend after spending time with an ex, to let her know that the ex has left and makes sure the friend isn't mad,
call in the middle of the night needing to be taken to the ER,
accepts, respects & loves family for who they are,
helps sister & family out when needed - didn't do it just for you!
have touchy, feely nights (both must have feelings, cuz both agreed),
taking care of your foot & rubbing both feet,
breakfast - making sure you had your vitamins, etc.
dinner,
grocery shopping,
cleaning/dusting/scrubbing house,
laundry,
pick outside paint,
paint interior,
mowing,
weed eating,
helping with car projects when needed,
movies,concerts,
bike runs,
dance (few times, with a couple being real close),
get up in the middle of the night to make sure another dose of medicine is given,etc.,
more to list,
but I'll stop here.
Don't get me wrong, yes, SOME of these things you would do with/for your friends, but this wasn't just a friendship, it was a relationship! even your friend, Jazz, made a comment regarding this.
I see how you look at me, (yes, so has your mom & most importantly, your dad - not to mention, the wonderful change they've seen in you) and I know you love me. However, I also see the fear in those beautiful blue eyes and think it stems mostly from your past hurt and not knowing if the next woman in your life is going to give up and walk out. even though some of the walls around your heart have been torn down, (i know this,because unlike a year ago, i now see love, caring, compassion, and some forgiveness within you) you're still afraid of feeling & giving your true self.
I walk away knowing that I have taught you a lot about what real love feels like, shown you how it's given, and how you can forgive & trust again. I have been your best friend, a lover and a more than giving person, who didn't expect anything in return or take advantage of you. I respected you entirely, could anticipate your actions, read your facial expressions, and knew what would make you happy or sad..i knew the core you!
It seems like we connected on almost every level, had so many things in common, and on many occasions, knew what the other person was thinking and would say it together...we were a perfect fit. Only you know when the "right" person comes along and even though you've told me on more than one occasion, that i was different than most women,I'm the first girl you had complete trust in, I'm relationship material and you're probably crazy to not act upon this....here you stand now, saying we're just friends?
If we're such friends, why do you always justify yourself? Why don't you tell me when you have a girl (just a friend) over or when/if you meet another girl? Ron, I'm truly in love with you! With my whole heart and everything I am,I would never give up on you, us or our love and would always be there to support you and stand by your side I'm the same loving, giving, loyal, honest, respectful woman you met over a year ago, (you, yourself even said I haven't changed much in that time) who has the same goals, values, and beliefs as you do, in keeping and maintaining an everlasting love and relationship.
However, if you can't open up and be honest, or are too afraid to take the next step, then I'm so sorry, but I have to walk out of your life for my own mental & physical well being. This includes just being friends! I'm not saying we won't ever be friends, but i will need sometime to heal and move on with my life. I do know that we will see eachother at your parents for Christmas, so maybe then we can see about starting a new friendship.
Please take a little time to think about this, about us, be true to yourself and don't have any regrets.
LENGTH OF RELATIONSHIP: 1 year, 2 months.
FROM: Mary
TO: Ron
SUBJECT: friends don't.
friends don't:
sleep over 4-5 nights out of the week, in the same bed and snuggle,
fall asleep on the couch together watching tv,
spend xmas with his family,
get jealous and then call it disrespecting him,
send a girlfriend home to be with a best friend on more than one occasion,
call a friend after spending time with an ex, to let her know that the ex has left and makes sure the friend isn't mad,
call in the middle of the night needing to be taken to the ER,
accepts, respects & loves family for who they are,
helps sister & family out when needed - didn't do it just for you!
have touchy, feely nights (both must have feelings, cuz both agreed),
taking care of your foot & rubbing both feet,
breakfast - making sure you had your vitamins, etc.
dinner,
grocery shopping,
cleaning/dusting/scrubbing house,
laundry,
pick outside paint,
paint interior,
mowing,
weed eating,
helping with car projects when needed,
movies,concerts,
bike runs,
dance (few times, with a couple being real close),
get up in the middle of the night to make sure another dose of medicine is given,etc.,
more to list,
but I'll stop here.
Don't get me wrong, yes, SOME of these things you would do with/for your friends, but this wasn't just a friendship, it was a relationship! even your friend, Jazz, made a comment regarding this.
I see how you look at me, (yes, so has your mom & most importantly, your dad - not to mention, the wonderful change they've seen in you) and I know you love me. However, I also see the fear in those beautiful blue eyes and think it stems mostly from your past hurt and not knowing if the next woman in your life is going to give up and walk out. even though some of the walls around your heart have been torn down, (i know this,because unlike a year ago, i now see love, caring, compassion, and some forgiveness within you) you're still afraid of feeling & giving your true self.
I walk away knowing that I have taught you a lot about what real love feels like, shown you how it's given, and how you can forgive & trust again. I have been your best friend, a lover and a more than giving person, who didn't expect anything in return or take advantage of you. I respected you entirely, could anticipate your actions, read your facial expressions, and knew what would make you happy or sad..i knew the core you!
It seems like we connected on almost every level, had so many things in common, and on many occasions, knew what the other person was thinking and would say it together...we were a perfect fit. Only you know when the "right" person comes along and even though you've told me on more than one occasion, that i was different than most women,I'm the first girl you had complete trust in, I'm relationship material and you're probably crazy to not act upon this....here you stand now, saying we're just friends?
If we're such friends, why do you always justify yourself? Why don't you tell me when you have a girl (just a friend) over or when/if you meet another girl? Ron, I'm truly in love with you! With my whole heart and everything I am,I would never give up on you, us or our love and would always be there to support you and stand by your side I'm the same loving, giving, loyal, honest, respectful woman you met over a year ago, (you, yourself even said I haven't changed much in that time) who has the same goals, values, and beliefs as you do, in keeping and maintaining an everlasting love and relationship.
However, if you can't open up and be honest, or are too afraid to take the next step, then I'm so sorry, but I have to walk out of your life for my own mental & physical well being. This includes just being friends! I'm not saying we won't ever be friends, but i will need sometime to heal and move on with my life. I do know that we will see eachother at your parents for Christmas, so maybe then we can see about starting a new friendship.
Please take a little time to think about this, about us, be true to yourself and don't have any regrets.
2 Comments:
taking care of your foot
What was wrong with his foot? (I hate mysteries.)
This whole litany of complaints sounds eerily familiar. Or, maybe I am confused because my name happens to be Jazz too.
Hmmmm...
Yeah, sounds kinda familiar to me, too, this "fuck buddies but oh so much more" situation. As is said over and over, ya can't fix him, so yeah, move along. (How irritating, though, when someone tells you how he just can't trust anyone, except there you are, being totally trustworthy etc...)
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