CASE #81: JENNI + DON

SUBMITTED BY: DON

INFO: I met this girl in September 2007. She lived right across the street (big mistake). At first, I was just hoping to get in her panties. Well, we started hanging out more and much to our surprise, we liked each other and spent pretty much every evening together. The relationship was great, her parents and friends loved me. We were having a great time and things were getting better and better each day. It was exciting. We were even saying I love you to each other. Then, she went on a cruise with her family. I could not go because they had been planning it way before we met.

She came home and everything was different. She didn't come over, call, text or anything when she got back. I began thinking that I did something wrong so I called her and asked what was up. She sounded as if she was about to drop a bomb on me. I said, I don't want to hear it so I'll talk to you later. The next day, she sent me a text message...a TEXT MESSAGE! saying she met someone, sorry.

We had not spoken for a month and she finally came to apologize. For the next couple of days I thought we were getting back together until she said, I can't I don't want to hurt you again.. I guess the bottom line is she dumped me for someone she met on a cruise. Below is a text of the post-breakup venting letter I wrote to her.

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DATE: November 20th, 2007
FROM: DON
TO: JENNI
SUBJECT:This Side of Good Bye

Jenni,

You were my best friend and then some, I remembered you the moment I met you.

That Tuesday evening after you returned home from the cruise, I had cooked a nice dinner for you, along with a nice bottle of wine. I was looking forward to seeing you and wanted to do something special but it was not meant to be. You never came. I'll never forget that piercing of my chest when I realized what we had was gone.

I miss the person I thought you were. I miss her smile and her infectious personality. I miss all the cute sounds she makes, like when she first wakes up in the morning and lets out that funny sounding yawn. I miss holding her hand, looking into her beautiful eyes and hearing her laugh. I miss sitting in the spa with her and sharing our unique stories and making each other laugh. I really miss making her laugh. Some of the times were had were so memorable and I enjoyed every second of every minute of them. Like that one time when I...

Our surfing adventures with your mom and Steve were great. If I had only known that was our last paddle-out, I would have stayed in the water and kissed you until your mom begged us to come back to the beach.

I miss going out to eat with you as well as staying in thinking about what we will do for dinner. I really miss some of the silly times we had. I miss the way you cared for the dog, he really liked you and it made me happy that you cared for him the way you did.

Probably the thing I miss the most is kissing you. When I kissed you, I felt butterflies every time I touched your lips. I loved to move the hair out of your eyes, touch your cheek and kiss you. I felt so much energy every time I was with you. It hasn't completely sunk in that these things will never happen again.

I also think about the growing list of things that we talked about doing. It's hard to believe those will never happen but I guess that's the way life is. It just hasn't been the same since you went on the cruise and I never saw you again. A part of me keeps saying if you just had not gone on that cruise, everything would be the way it used to be but that's an unreasonable way to think, so I stop myself.

The part that I struggle with the most is the shock that someone, especially you would do what you did. It doesn't seem right that someone that cares for another person would ever treat someone that way. I would never do that to someone, especially you. I guess that happens in relationships but it just doesn't make any sense. I suppose things have to end badly, otherwise they wouldn't end.

You left a note on my picnic table last week but I didn't read it. There is nothing that you could have said that would have made any difference. The bottom line is I really don't ever want to know what happened. Since you and I ate dinner on Halloween night, things were never the same. There is no way to change what happened to us and I see no reason for you to explain it to me. Had I ever received a negative vibe from you, I would have addressed it with you and respected your feelings. I meant every kind word I've ever said to you. You really had me fooled thinking you felt the same.

You made me want to be a better man and I wanted to make you happy. Please tell your mom, Steve and the rest of the family that I enjoyed meeting them and especially thank your mom and Steve for taking me surfing. Maybe I’ll see Steve out in the lineup sometime.

Don