CASE #102: EMILY + OLIVER

SUBMITTED BY: Emily
LENGTH OF RELATIONSHIP: 7 months (with a break up in there)
ENDED BY: Oliver
INFO: The year was 2000. The dawn of a new millennium. My future looked bright, as I was closing in on my 17th year. And then, I stupidly started to like this guy. We'll call him Oliver.

We met in grade 10. He instantly had a crush on me for some reason, of which I'm not sure, and annoyed the crap out of me. The standard way to show a girl you like them. I couldn't stand him at first, mainly because he was so "in your face." My best friend at the time had a huge crush on him, which made no sense to me, since he was constantly talking to her about me. She eventually lost interest. Anyways, he must have worn me down after about a year and finally I broke down and started to like him back. Probably out of pity.

I had been turning him down ever since I met him, telling him that I wanted just to be friends and that was it. After about a year of this, he seemed to cool it with me. So when I finally realized I liked him, I wasn't sure if his feelings were the same. So, being the chicken that I was, I sent him an email.

Keep in mind that we were 16, so not only will the conversation be ridiculous, the whole situation is much more dramatic and emotional than need be.

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FROM: EMILY
TO: OLIVER

Hey Oliver,

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I think I'm starting to have feelings for you. I know you've probably moved on by now, and that's cool. Just wanted to let you know what I was thinking. Anyways, see you at school tomorrow.

Emily

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FROM: OLIVER
TO: EMILY

Oh my God, are you serious? Of course I haven't moved on! I can't wait to see you tomorrow...

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So the first few months of the relationship were great. He was a sweetheart. Then came 3 months into the relationship. I thought things were going well and then I get this email.

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FROM: OLIVER
TO: EMILY

Emily,

I've been doing something thinking these last few weeks. Things just don't seem to be going well. I can't explain it. I want things to be the way they used to be. When I worshipped you and you were this goddess up on a pedastal that I couldn't get to. I can't go on with things the way they are.

I've been going through a lot lately. I don't have the time to put in for this relationship. I feel like my life is this vicious cycle of constant routine and I'm stuck on this never ending treadmill. Every day is the same thing. And I'm sick of it. And it doesn't help that you constantly want to hang out and do stuff and get upset when I don't. I just need my own space.

So, I think we need a break. And don't think I'm being a pussy by doing this over email. Keep in mind that you first told me you liked me over email.

Love always,
Oliver

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I was completely taken aback. Not only was this guy breaking up with me (from what honestly felt like out of nowhere) over email, but he was telling me that it was acceptable for him to break up with me in this horrible, impersonal way because I had mentioned that I liked him in an email? Nice. What was funny was that he just assumed I got it the next day at school. He didn't talk to me or say, "hey, did you get my email?" or anything. Good thing I got it, or that could have been awkward.

So he not only broke up with me through email, but he also did it because now I was "achievable." Haha. I guess some people really only want what they can't get, and as soon as they get it...see ya...

Anyways, it made me laugh, and I saved it for years. Of course at the time it was devestating, but teenagers are always so dramatic.

But, of course, that wasn't the end of our story. After about a few weeks of being broken up and not talking, Oliver realized he had made a mistake. So then came this gem of an email.

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TO: EMILY
FROM: OLIVER

Emily,

I've made a huge mistake. I can't go to school and see you and not want to be with you. I thought what I was doing was for the best, but I realized that I can't see myself without you. I miss holding your hand. I miss whispering in your ear. I miss kissing you. I miss sitting on the couch and just watching a movie with you. I wish things could just go back to the way they were.

I still love you.

Oliver

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TO: OLIVER
FROM: EMILY

Oliver,

I'm not about to put myself back into a position where you can treat me the way you treated me. I can't be ignored again. If I'm crying, it's for a reason! You made me feel like an idiot because I would get upset over something you did. All of my friends hate you because of the way you treated me.

I don't get you. I mean, one day you treat me like a princess, the next you're a complete asshole to me? Why the sudden change? And don't give me this bullshit about you liked it better when you "worshipped me" because that's just ridiculous.

I can't be with someone who isn't going to be there for me. Of course I still have feelings for you, but I'm not about to repeat history.

Emily

---

He and I started talking again, and decided to go back to being friends. In the mean time, I had started sort of dating this other guy, we'll call him Jerry. Oliver and I were still friends and we'd hang out all the time.

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TO: EMILY
FROM: OLIVER

Emily,

I know you're with Jerry now, and I accept that. He's a really nice guy, and a lucky one at that.

But it hurts me to be with you knowing I can't have you. When you were over here last night, there were so many times that I just wanted to kiss you. I know you felt it too. I saw the way you looked at me. Can you honestly say you didn't want to kiss me too?

Love,
Oliver

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TO: OLIVER
FROM: EMILY

Oliver,

I did feel something, yes. I wanted to kiss you, but I couldn't do that to Jerry. He and I are over though. We talked tonight and decided we are better off friends.

But I don't know if we should be together again. I don't want to go through the same thing I did before. Can you promise me it won't be like last time?

Love,
Emily

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And of course, the next day at school, he promised me it wouldn't be the same. We started dating again and right around the 3 month mark, while we were on summer vacation, I get another email. I hadn't seen him in a couple weeks, since he was always too busy to hang out with me.

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TO: EMILY
FROM: OLIVER

Emily,

It's the same as before. You are just so irrational. I hate seeing you cry, but you're always crying. No matter what I do, it never seems good enough. I mean, I treated you like a goddess! I worshipped you! That was never enough! I bought you presents, took you to the movies, and was nothing but a good boyfriend to you. I don't want to keep trying and failing. I'm sick of you being so emotional all the time. I can't do this any more.

Oliver

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FROM: EMILY
TO: OLIVER

Oliver,

Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, you were sweet, yeah you treated me like a goddess, but that was MONTHS ago! The last while you've been ignoring me, making me feel awful, and making me cry constantly.

But that's fine. I am done with all of this. I'm done with being ignored. I'm done with pretending you're the same guy who used to be my best friend. Because you're not. You're a completely different person now. You've turned into this huge asshole. And I'm not going to be with an asshole.

Emily

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And so ended the Oliver/Emily dating saga. I went on vacation for a couple weeks with a friend of mine and her family. When I came back, I started hanging out with a new guy (who is actually now my husband!). Oliver and I started talking again once school started back up again. Apparently he had sent me another email while I was away, which I never received. He claimed that it would have "won me over" and I would have started dating him again. I laughed at him and told him I wouldn't have dared go through that again.

We're friends now. We've both matured since our awkward teenage years and gotten over all that angst. We often laugh about how stupid and dramatic we were, all those years ago. My friends still hate him.

But this is why teenagers shouldn't be allowed to date! They make everything so much more dramatic than it needs to be!