CASE # 66: LANCE + REICHEN

SUBMITTED BY: LANCE

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DATE: October 31st, 2006
FROM: LANCE
TO: REICHEN
SUBJECT: You're gonna want to read this.

Reichen,

I just wanted to let you know that after five weeks of mixed messages, slight dodging and outright evasion, I can take a hint. While the only thing I asked of you was honesty and straightforwardness about how you felt concerning our relationship, it's apparent that you don't feel I'm worth even that most common of courtesies. So I'm through wasting my time and yours chasing the idea that maybe -- just maybe -- you cared about me a little. At least enough to cut me loose honestly rather than with a fucking childish cold shoulder routine.

The main reason I've been trying to get together with you was so that I could tell you all of this to your face rather than in a fucking email. I much prefer in-person closure to e-closure: it's just slightly more grown-up and civilized.

And if by some chance it turns out I'm way off base here, and that you've meant to call or reply to the emails, txts and IMs I've sent but you've just been oh so busy, guess what: I've just given you the justification you've been looking for to blame this all on me, because, of course, you couldn't have done anything wrong, no no. You can tell Molly and Sarah what a jerk I turned out to be and omit the fact of what an insufferable, game-playing cunt you've been to me. I hope you'll find this face-saving a grand gesture of just how goddamn fucking sweet I am. But I know that you know that no one's EVER too busy to take five minutes out of five weeks to drop a line to someone who matters to them. I mean, fuck; look at me.

(And you even drove me to write one hell of a run-on sentence, which, you may be surprised to know, pisses me off too. Come on, don't lose your sense of humour on me! I think this is one knee-slapper of an email.)

Maybe you really don't know what you want. Maybe you really have been struggling with this these past weeks. And should that be the case, please know that I'm not trying to belittle what must be very difficult for you. But something tells me that I'm the only one who's lost any sleep over this.

Anyway, it was a lot of fun, and I was really happy being with you those first few weeks. But lately you've treated me like shit, and well, I've felt like shit. Imagine that. And tonight, writing this email I feel like an utter fool. And I just can't feel like shit anymore. I'm done being strung along. I'll see if I can get my dignity to return my calls.

Perhaps I'm a sucker, but I still care about you, Reichen. And maybe it's for that reason that if you ever decide that I'm anywhere in the neighbourhood of what you might want, I'll always answer your calls. Just remember that I'm just that nice a guy. But if it's all the same to you, I ain't holding my breath.

Take good care of yourself.

Lance