CASE # 69: TONY + TINA
SUBMITTED BY: TINA
LENGTH OF RELATIONSHIP: 3.5 years
INFO: This was given to me by Tony after 2 years of being together. 2 weeks before prom he broke up with me because a girl in his philosophy class convinced him to...what a hoe...after bitching him out and making him cry he wrote this to me the night before prom. The relationship should have ended there but continued for about 1.5 years, along with the same bullcrap. He ended it because I was too chicken to. The last thing I said to him was "you're a fucking asshole" and that was one year ago.
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FROM: TONY
TO: TINA
Month long days, time that seems to stand still but push forward faster than ever has before. Tina, I'm confused, I can't remember the last time I have been this confused, and well I've been taking it all out on you. They say that you hurt the ones you love the most, it seems to fit. I know I've been hurting you, I know that I have been as asshole that past little while; I know you hate it when I apologize but I am sorry for this.
Tomorrow [prom night] I am going to be with you for the entire night that is if you still want me to be, and I will understand if you don't. [he left early to hang out with the other girl, but told me he had to do homework] I've been trying to make myself happy and by doing that I am hurting the people around me. No one deserves it. With very little time left it's discomforting to think that this will be how it is all remembered. I don't want it to be like that, I don't want to look back on my final days of high school as I do on my final days of elementary school [complicated baggage=long story]. It's been a crazy couple of years of ups and downs and I don't want it to end like this.
Sometimes love works in mysterious ways, where its motives are hidden for the time being. The future is undetermined; I want to keep it open.
Tina love is all I feel for you, but love sometimes needs a break. This past couple of weeks was my way of dealing with this, but its over. Letting go, it's a tough thing to do especially seeing how close we have been the last two years. You are my first love, my first everything and this was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. But remember always what we have shared, October 18 [anniversary] will always be with me.
From the first kiss till the end of my days you have my heart.
Tony
4 Comments:
Tina,
It sounds to ME like the guy actually loved you and he felt like you were pushing him away. Like he is failing in the relationship. From what I have read, it sounds like you weren't the most understanding girlfriend.
Love and highschool are absolutely the worst combination (right after some sulfur reactions that I have accidentally caused). And usually highschool love is the love that seems the most painful.
Don't think of this breakup or this guy as something that ruined you. Don't think of him as an asshole who broke your heart, even if he was. You have to see this guy has a stepping stone. He was a stepping stone to independence, and happiness.
Lastly, that is the most romantic breakup letter I have ever read.
If you don't expect too much, you will not be disappointed. This person was not ready for commitment, why would he be -- he's in High School, lots more to explore yet. He just didn't know how to deal with it honestly, most people don't. They go round all the houses to avoid saying what they really mean. In this case, "I'm not sure that you're the only person I want to shag for the rest of my life. I like it, but I want to try a few more. I may regret it, cos I may not find anything better but I've got to give it a go." It's not a crime, it's how people are. Don't expect every boyfriend to be the 'one', just one of many. Until one day you meet someone who wants the same things as you do; it's not a crime if someone doesn't want the same things as you.
yeah guys, that letter was so cute. I just broke with the guy who I thought was the ONE, but at 30 he still wanted to explore some more. We have been together for 4 years when we realized that it was not working for us. Some hearts got broken. Mine. But
I guess freedom awaits. It's is sad though.
Tina,
Save your money and travel, see the world and make friends/boyfriends all over it. Then go to College. Expand your tastes and personality, and then refine them. One day you'll look back on this sad little High School drama and laugh, because you won't quiet remember people’s names or what anyone looked like and it will feel like it happened in a different world, to someone else. And if you’re lucky, like I was, you'll bump into that high school love on the street and have a good laugh about the past with him. Then he'll tell you he's been divorced twice, has a couple of kids and hauls waist for a living after which he'll turn on that old charm and ask you if you want to go for a coffee, but you'll smile and say 'no, I've got to be somewhere, nice to see you. Goodbye'.
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