Wednesday, December 21, 2005

CASE # 28: JC + TS

[image by TS]

INFO: Ok, so here's the story. JC and I met a year and a half ago. He is currently 20 and I am almost 23. I was in an emotionally abusive open realtionship (open because my bf of 5 1/2 years at the time had insisted) when I met JC. We had met at work and become fast friends after realizing that we had many common interests in activities and music etc.

So, after hanging out with him for a while and having many long conversations over the phone with him, I started to fall for him. We talked about everything and he was constantly complimenting me. It was the first time in years I felt alive and like someone truly liked me for me. So time flew by and eventually I broke up with my boyfriend. JC and I started dating shortly thereafter. Things were going swimmingly. We slept together (which was unfortunately not such a wonderful experience) and after that everything changed. We hung out the next weekend after the first time he spent the night. He treated me exceptionally. Things seemed better than they had ever been. He was very loving, telling me how sweet I was and how special I was. He stayed over, but we were not intimate. Then he disappeared for 4 days and wouldn't answer my phone calls. He broke up with me over the phone and said that he thought he had felt something for me, but he was wrong and that he wasn't emotionally involved. He told me he never said he loved me (which I had never said anyway) and that he just wanted to be friends). I was shattered.

Then, he stopped talking to me for 4 months with the exception of one drunken phone call where he left a message saying he wanted to talk. He never answered when I called back. When I finally run into him, he says the only reason he stopped talking to me was because he thought I hated him and didn't want to talk to him anymore. So we start talking and hanging out again. He always seemed comfortable when we were around each other and would come up and give me hugs etc. He skated by me and blew a kiss at my one night. So a few days later, I call him to invite him somewhere and he picks up the phone and proceeds to scream in my ear "Stop calling me bitch".

I was caught completely off gaurd and to this day I don't understand it. I haven't called him since. This is the letter I wrote for my own personal release. It hasn't been sent, but I am pretty sure at least one of his friends has read it on my online blog.



Dear JC,
So I am pretty angry and a little sad (not that you give a shit or have ever given a shit how I feel). I am strong though.. and soon you and all of your bullshit will be just an unpleasant memory in some forgotten corner of my mind. I retrace over what happened between us sometimes, looking for answers. I know better than to think that I can actually make sense of any of the neurotic bullshit that you put me through though. You are an excellent actor. I honestly believed that you were a nice, caring, unique, and decent person that had been through a lot of shit, but still came out on top with some sense of right and wrong and dignity. What a beautiful facade.

You were there when I was going through a terrible time in my life. You were so good at being fake that I honestly bought into every single line of bullshit you fed me in the entire year and a half of knowing you. I believed your sob stories and ate it up when you told me how great, awesome, beautiful, and different I was. You said I shouldn't take people's shit, that I should stand up for myself. You said *N* was an asshole for what he did to me. Then, you go and put me through all the shit you told me not to put up with and were far more of an asshole than I could have imagined.

I can't believe I ever listened to a word you said. I know better now though. You are one of those people who thrives on finding emotionally hurt people and toying with them as a sick form of entertainment. You never meant a word you said to me and I feel sorry for the people who actually trust you. I can't believe I tried to stay your friend. You were too much of a coward to tell me in person that you were ending things between us when we were seeing each other, and you couldn't come up with an honest answer as to why. I guess I wanted to be your friend because despite the fact that you lied to me and screwed me over (quite literally), I genuinely cared about you and wanted to believe you were a good person (my mistake).

Remember the first time we really talked after you ended it? I told you that I was not going to bring up our relationship ever again and that you didn't have to explain anymore because it didn't matter anymore. I told you that if you didn't want to be my friend, all you had to do is say so and I would never bother you again. I told you I wanted your honesty and that I wouldn't yell or scream, that I would just walk away because I didn't want to waste my time trying to be friends with someone who didn't want me in their life (an boy did it tun out to be a HUGE waste of time).

I gave you the easy out. Instead of being honest, you went on for 10 minutes about how it was all just a "miscommunication", that we "were cool", that things weren't akward, that you didn't think badly of me, and that we could be friends. I bought it hook, line, and sinker.

Then just this past week I call you and you scream and cuss at me for it. I was taken by surprise. After all hadn't we gotten along perfectly for the past few months? Hadn't we hung out on more than one occasion? All I ever talked to you about was how you were doing and what was new in your life (because for some reason I gave a damn) and never pressured you or clung to you or presented any shady behavior. You never showed any signs of being uncomfortable when we talked or when we were around each other. As a matter of fact at the Total Resignation show YOU were the one who came up to me to start a conversation. YOU were the one who was giving me hugs. I made a strict point out of not approaching you first because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable and figured if you really wanted to talk to me you would approach me (obviously logic doesn't work in scenarios involving you).

Then the other evening, you skate by me and blow me a kiss? Completely perplexing. If you wanted me to disappear and stop talking to you, those were probably not the best tactics you could have used. I am sure this is where you would say something like, "I was just trying to be nice.." or whatever other lame shit you would say in addition to that to try to not look like a douche. However, there are plenty of ways of ignoring someone and not being mean as opposed to leading them on, faking the fact that you are friends with them, hugging them and a bunch of other nonsense.

You should come with a warning label that says ***WARNING: Manipulative, Neurotic, Passive-Aggressive Headcase, with moderate Commitmentphobia. Subject is likely to lie compulsively, sweet talk, play on your sympathy, and suck you dry. RUN BITCH RUN!*** I will make you a t-shirt if you want. I will pay for the silk screening and everything. I wonder how many girls you have done this to. I should have taken it as a sign when you were at my house and this girl kept calling and you wouldn't answer. When I asked you why you said, "She's a psycho and won't leave me alone."

So I suggested that you pick up and tell her that you don't want to talk to her anymore. You said you had already done so at an earlier date. I doubt that now. You probably strung her along and lied to her like you did me... and god knows how many others. You probably said the same shit when I would call you. Well newsflash... it is not someone's fault that they are trying to contact you when you are leading them on and pretending to be their friend because you have problems communicating like a normal human being or maybe you just like playing with people's heads that much.

Anyway, you have nothing left to worry about. I will NEVER call you again. If I see you on the street I will be sure to look the other way, but I hope that you have become so insignificant that I don't notice you by then. You NEVER have to worry about me asking you how you are or giving a shit about your life again. So there ya go. This "bitch" will never call you again or communicate with you in any form... so don't worry your pretty little head about it.

So I am going to wrap it up here. Have a nice life. I hope someday you learn how to communicate properly and how to have functional, normal relationships. I hope that you learn how treat people. I hope and pray you never do this to anyone else and noone does it to you (Because not even YOU deserve that). If by some chance we run into eachother at a show or through mutual friends do me a favor (it's the least you could do considering)... don't look at me, don't talk to me, stay the fuck away from me, and pretend I am not there because that's exactly what I will be doing when it comes to you. It was an experience knowing you, if I ever really knew you in the first place.


Anonymous just a girl said...

Sounds like he might be amanic-depressive in need of thereapy and meds. He needs time to grow up and someday he'll find someone that fits him, which probably won't be you. Don't mean that in a harsh way, I just mean that by the time he finds himself, you yourself will have grown into a different better person and won't fit him either.

5:52 PM, December 27, 2005  

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