Thursday, September 29, 2005


INFO: Mary and Harry dated for 3 years, and they had lived together for 2 of those years. They had a beautiful apartment and everything was grand, until Mary started wanting something more... but not in a good way. Mary loved her school which will stay unnamed, or lets call it, a University in T******. But the people on her campus were very trendy, and loved clubbing, duct taping their boobs for more cleavage, and boys with no future. This caused a lot of problems as Harry was not into this... Harry got very upset to see his girl changing so fast and dramatically. Then in February of this year Mary took a trip somewhere warm with her friends, when she arrived home there was no more room for Harry in her life.

Harry came home one Sunday night in February to find his apartment in shambles, everything was gone...well not the furniture but the good stuff, blankets, sheets, pillows, shampoo, food etc. and there was a note (that unfortunately has been destroyed) that basically said..."I'll call you when i am coming for the rest of my stuff"

Harry was, upset, hurt and most of all confused... what had happened? So the very next morning he phoned her, and she hung up. So Harry phoned again, she hung up he continued to do this 10x till she answered and said "leave me alone". He started to get the message that she had dumped him... without actually being dumped, cause remember, Harry drove her to the airport and gave her a big kiss and a hug and said "I love you" just days before when she left for her warm trip, but had not seen her since she got home..

Harry then hung up the phone and headed home where, lo and behold, the Police were waiting for him at his front door, only to take him into his loveless, lifeless house and throw insults and warnings at him as well as a restraining order to never step foot on that University of T******'s soil again... well not until 2010. After about 45 minutes of being questioned as if Harry had killed her and hid her body, they left, Harry made some food and curled up on his bed with no sheets, 2 sweaters for blankets, and a coat as a pillow. The next day the phone rang at 7:30am: it was the police warning Harry if he did not leave HIS apartment between the hours of 10am - 2pm he would be arrested, so he got up, showered with no soap or shampoo, squeezed an old tube of toothpaste to get a little out, and stepped outside to get into his car and drive off. The police were parked across the road and followed him to school. When he got home there were no more movies, tables, alarm clocks, computers, desks, or anything; just a couch, a bed and another note that said, "Please do not ever treat me like that and put me in such a hard place by calling me so many times ever again, goodbye, Mary"

That was the end, she came back every now and then for re-assurance that Harry still was hurt, but Mary carried on to her new life of bad music, clothes and hang out spots.

Harry moved out, broke, and having to hit his parents up for more than 1500 dollars because all the bills were left with him, and all the rent.


DATE: Monday, February 28th, 2005 2:15 AM
SUBJECT: Re: why?


Where the hell do you get off....come get the rest of your stuff whenever, i'll just sleep on the floor eat straight off the george foreman... and don't worry i won;t touch any of it!!!!!!!! what were you scared of???? Why did you call the police!?!?!?! u wanted to prove a point, and make me feel shitty for it and don't worry I do!!! I totally trusted you it was just a lot harder after you kissed someone. you of anybody should know how that feels!!!!you never shut up about being cheated on 5 years ago!!! Anyway your're not a monster I just want you to know how badly my heart was ripped out when you cut off contact with me, by Calling the police!!!!!!!!! You say you still love me, but I just believe if you really did you would want to see me, talk to me, and ease my mind...and maybe, if you were up to it...end a 3 year relationship to my face. Anyway, ....guess i'll never see ya again cause i am not allowed says this little pink sheet from the police, who were more than generous on offering up information on ways i could be arrested., have a nice day, say hi to the bitches for me.


DATE: Sunday, March 13, 2005 8:33 AM


Call me, and tell me why this happening...i need an answer or i am coming over



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Women are ravenous blood sucking monsters, always wanting more, more MORE! -Homer Simpson

1:23 AM, September 29, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WOW...thats it...Just WOW. Mary is crazy.

1:29 AM, September 29, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello. A friend of mine told me to check this story out. First of all I love the website, so funny. Second of all I didn't understand why harry put up with all that shit, I mean grow some balls man!! Not that I am perfect by anymeans, I have let people walk all over me, but reading this I just wanted to hit Mary...and I am a girl!!!! Girls only fight over guys they are both sleeping with.

6:23 PM, September 29, 2005  
Anonymous Tony said...

Oh but hold on boys and girls...

This is obviously Harry's side... what about Mary? Where are Harry's e-mails to her?!

Charles... Dwayne... I need some fair and balanced journalism here, ala Murdoch's Fox News. Thanks, Tony

6:45 PM, September 29, 2005  
Blogger said...


Unfortunately we can only post what we get. But after seeing your request Harry sent us his emails to Mary.
We shall refer to you from now on as 'the muscle'

everyone else,

Check out Tony's site, it's rad.

oh, and if there's one thing we want to be, it's more like Fox News.

2:14 PM, September 30, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with tony, clearly there are a few gaps in harry's story.

8:18 AM, October 11, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hell, if I had been Harrry I would have called myself a lawyer to figure out what my legal rights were. I wouldn't have let the police into my house let alone sat through a 45 minute conversation with them.

1:32 PM, October 20, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Speaking from a chick's perspective... I'm thinking there's a bit more to the story than initially meets the eye. For one thing, you can't get a substantial restraining order without proving to a magistrate that there is good reason to believe that a person is a potential and viable threat. (I know - I've tried to get one before on an ex who tried strangling me one night after a few too many shots of tequila).

I mean, certainly it sucks to be Harry. The whole situation just sucks. But either Harry hasn't clued in to whatever it is that made Mary spaz, or denial is deeply and thoroughly ingrained.

9:48 PM, October 20, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It was an order that said i could step on her University property till 2010, I am not a lawyer, or in denial or a spaz. I understand why she flipped and left, i just don't understand why it was handled the way it was...And Tony, yur the best, I wanna meet you in person and knock your teeth out, or I will post the break up letters between you and your hand...thats a tough loss switchin to the left after such a good run with the right hand.


5:51 PM, October 23, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, I think maybe Harry is the scary one, not Mary. Maybe there were legit reasons for what she did after all. What was that last comment all about - "Tony.. knock your teeth out"? Dude, chill out. Maybe Mary was right to do all this if you go around threatening people who just ask for the whole story. I'm still waiting to find out what she was so worked up about. Or have his e-mails to her been posted already?

2:19 PM, November 02, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, I think maybe Harry is the scary one, not Mary. Maybe there were legit reasons for what she did after all. What was that last comment all about - "Tony.. knock your teeth out"? Dude, chill out. Maybe Mary was right to do all this if you go around threatening people who just ask for the whole story. I'm still waiting to find out what she was so worked up about. Or have his e-mails to her been posted already?

2:20 PM, November 02, 2005  
Blogger said...

His e-mails are posted.
ummm. yes.

3:30 PM, November 02, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Harry makes it all sound so rosy before Mary goes on her trip, but that AIN'T so!!! She said she wasn't happy and thought that they both weren't happy. Also, while she's ON the trip, something happened, because she says that he ruined the trip! Harry did something (or MANY things) wrong because even he admitted he knew "why she flipped and left" so OBVIOUSLY we aren't hearing both sides of the story.

I'd like to hear an unbiased account (which is probably impossible) but might go like this: Harry acted like an A** in this way. She acted crazy in this way. Here's the letters: boom. Too easy. Plus, we don't have to invent reasons (because then they'd be given) why/how Harry acted like an a**.

Instead we get: I'm perfect and she's an itch with a capital "B".

7:05 AM, November 04, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

She shoulda at least left him some shampoo. C'mon now!

10:51 PM, December 18, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is there a Harry Haroldson LP in the pipelines? I dig your Vibe.
Your going places Kid, forget that Ho.


Gary Coleman

11:54 PM, April 14, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ditch the bitch

2:36 PM, May 22, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Harry does seem a little high-strung, but his "Since U Been Gone" cover on is ha-larious!
i've actually known a few Marys who have done the same thing to thier Harrys, for no reason. some girls are just bonkers ridiculous.

10:19 AM, March 25, 2008  

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