CASE # 75: R + DJ

SUBMITTED BY: R (Female)

LENGTH OF RELATIONSHIP: 6 weeks

INFO: The story; I've recently met a guy I've fallen head over heels for. He broke my heart. I was staying with a friend for a few weeks while was teaching at a summer camp over at the university. Her two apartment-mates and I became good friends. Two Korean guys, one of which had arrived in the US only two weeks earlier. Let's call him 'DJ'.

The three of us and two more of their friends would all hang out, cook food, chat and I would help them all with their homework. (I'm an education major in my last semester and I do a great deal of volunteer work with ESL students).

Despite barely being able to speak English, 'DJ' was exceedingly charming. We went out for coffee, talked a great deal and I helped him with some basic adjustment needs. Nothing more than I normally do for an international student. I helped him buy a car, transfer his international driver's license to a state one and get insurance.

The guys and I had already talked at length about their American hopes and aspirations. They asked me why American (i.e. white) girls didn't seem interested in dating them. I told them it was just stereotypes that they needed to overcome and that even I had dated a Korean. 'DJ' and I started spending time alone together, listening to music and talking about culture.

He confessed to me that a no one, much less a stranger, had ever been so nice to him and he valued me greatly as a friend. I asked him why he didn't just ask me out. He said he had thought about it, that I was 'his style'. So we agreed to give each other a try. After a few homemade Korean dinners, rounds of Starcraft, and late-night conversations, 'DJ' asked if I just wanted to stay the night in his room. No pressure for sex, he just wanted to be near me. He was perfect gentleman and nothing happened at the time. We picked out pet names for each other. Eventually, the deed was done, but he was the perfect gentleman about the whole thing too. Not nearly as clumsy as most college guys I'd dated (We share the same birthday, he's 24 and I'm 21.).

After my teaching job was over, I returned home for the summer. Daily phone calls and emails curbed the loneliness. Everyday, he wrote little messages, 'I love you', 'I want to see you' and 'I miss you'. Beautifully constructed pieces of Engrish.

After a month of this, I drove two hours to see him last week. The first night, sex again. More 'I love you' and 'I missed you so much'.

The next day he told me that he just wanted to be friends. That the culture is too different. I asked him to reconsider, I would try to learn his culture the best I could. After that he said that he 'needs more time to arrangement his mind.' He has asked me wait a week or two.

Well, fuck him. I got tired of waiting, so I wrote this gem to him and emailed it today.

I wrote it in a way to accommodate his beginning English reading ability. I wanted him to understand every single word. Every bit of my wrath and pain is in this letter in the most simplistic way possible.

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FROM: R
TO: DJ

You needed some time to think?

Well, I've done some thinking.

I don't want a relationship with you.

Never.

I don't want to be your friend.

I really hate you.

You are nothing but a bastard.

You broke my heart. You tricked me. I feel so betrayed and hurt. I trusted in you. You are cold and heartless.

I'm too good and beautiful for a such pitiful boy like you. My kindness could have changed your life in the US for the better. But you chose to reject my love.

Why did I ever speak to you or beg you to love me? It was so stupid!

You are a cruel and miserable person.

Now, I've learned from my mistake called DJ. I will never make that mistake again!

I know now that you never loved me or cared about me. 'I miss you' and 'Sarang hae' was only a lie! All you wanted was sex and to destroy my spirit. Why did you break my heart? Your family, mother and sister should be ashamed of you. You should be ashamed of yourself. You have no soul or emotions.

Maybe someday you can grow up and become a man. You will never meet another American girl to show you kindness.

I also want to tell you that you have a very tiny penis. The smallest I've ever seen!! Microscopic! That's why I couldn't have the orgasm from you. You have horrible sex skills, like a blind man. I had to wash my body 10 times to clean the stink of you and kimchee sweat from me. Improve yourself 1000% before you try sex again with an American. The American girl will laugh at you!

Stupid child, never contact me again. Don't call me or message me ever again.

-a girl better than 'R'-