Friday, September 09, 2005

LET US TRY AND MANIPULATE YOU INTO SENDING US YOUR BREAK UP LETTER.

Reasons why you should hand them over:

1. What else are you gonna do with em? Keep them? Burn them, then put out the flames with your tears? Don't be such a waster, you're to blame for global warming.

Remember the three R's. Recycle. Re-gift and R-give us your letters please.

2. This will save you from eternally keeping that little box in the closet that he/she gave you filled with letters and memories and dried out roses and lies.

3. Going through your old letters will be cathartic and possibly even inspire you to break up with the person you're with now so you can send us the letter(s) from that. You can control your future. Everything ends. Why put off the inevitable?

4. You're going to get together with someone else to fill the void of the other person. Then you're gonna marry that person and throw all the letters out so that your new husband/wife doesn't find them and question your fucked up relationships and divorce you cause you're a passive aggressive, lousy lay. We'll keep it hush hush.

5. All the cool kids are doing it. Don't you want to be cool?

6. We're clinically depressed and the only thing that puts a smile on our faces are submissions from you. Don't be a bully. Let us smile again.

7. Remember that episode of Friends where Rachel calls Ross and leaves a message saying "she's over him" so she can get closure? Think of us as 'Ross's answering machine'.

8. Your letters could change or touch someone's life. No jokes here. This point is jokeless.

9. Remember how fun Show-n-Tell was? This is like Show-n-Tell for grown-ups*.

* In this instance the term "grown-ups" is defined as anyone that is no longer in kindergarten.

10. Cause a part of you really wants to but you're too afraid. And if you let fear run your life, then the terrorists will have won.

9 Comments:

Blogger Chieftobique said...

OK, im am seriously going to find some break-up letters I have recieved. I am moving soon, so packing and unpacking should produce some results.

One thing. please don't make me anonymous or the other person. I want everyone to know just who the hell screwed me over and maybe they will send me gifts to console my absolutely abused heart.

3:30 PM, October 07, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's been two years, and frankly i think it's pathetic that I go back and forth between being over it and not so over it. . so. . it is going to be a very long entry, I hope people are enthrawled enough to get through it. . .

5:00 PM, January 16, 2006  
Blogger e-closure.com said...

they will be. bring it on. it's not pathetic. people pine for decades.
love,
-dwayne

5:12 PM, January 16, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i have a story.....it hurts.
a moment or two to gather my thoughts....
i have no letters, only memories is that ok for here?
more later.

1:15 AM, March 05, 2006  
Blogger e-closure.com said...

we'll be waiting.

7:13 PM, March 05, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i love Reasons #5

3:31 AM, July 20, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love reason #5 too!!

10:47 PM, February 18, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This site is hilariously amazing!! It's taken me a little over a week to read all 100+ messy, but necessary breakups!! I found this site when I typed "breakup letters" into Google. I was looking for some sort of catalyst and maybe the words to help me do what I've known for a while that I had to do. After reading a few of these situations I realized that there really are no pre-scripted words to say and that I just needed to speak from my heart. It took me three months to find the courage to be honest with someone who was not going to be happy with what I had to say, but I said it none the less. Thanks for being my catalyst!! You've got a very entertaining site here. Thanks for letting me peep into the messed up relationships of others. It just reminded me that people can, and do, breakup and that it doesn't have to be the end of the world.

1:23 AM, May 14, 2009  
Anonymous Cassie Rogers said...

So i haven't dumped my boyfriend yet but i kind of want to..? we did some stuff and he said he wouldn't tell anyone and wanted to keep it special and between us but then last night asked if he could tell this girl in new york (that he's only kinda friends with:P) about the stuff we did because she asked what we had done and he and her bf were thinking about doing it. i eventually told him he could tell whoever he freakin damn well pleased. Now i'm mad at him and he wants to talk about it. I really like him but that makes me mad that he would do that. Any opinions from older wiser people? (I'm almost 17 but i kinda just want other input even if you aren't older.) :P

10:00 AM, September 01, 2009  

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