LET US TRY AND MANIPULATE YOU INTO SENDING US YOUR BREAK UP LETTER.
Reasons why you should hand them over:
1. What else are you gonna do with em? Keep them? Burn them, then put out the flames with your tears? Don't be such a waster, you're to blame for global warming.
Remember the three R's. Recycle. Re-gift and R-give us your letters please.
2. This will save you from eternally keeping that little box in the closet that he/she gave you filled with letters and memories and dried out roses and lies.
3. Going through your old letters will be cathartic and possibly even inspire you to break up with the person you're with now so you can send us the letter(s) from that. You can control your future. Everything ends. Why put off the inevitable?
4. You're going to get together with someone else to fill the void of the other person. Then you're gonna marry that person and throw all the letters out so that your new husband/wife doesn't find them and question your fucked up relationships and divorce you cause you're a passive aggressive, lousy lay. We'll keep it hush hush.
5. All the cool kids are doing it. Don't you want to be cool?
6. We're clinically depressed and the only thing that puts a smile on our faces are submissions from you. Don't be a bully. Let us smile again.
7. Remember that episode of Friends where Rachel calls Ross and leaves a message saying "she's over him" so she can get closure? Think of us as 'Ross's answering machine'.
8. Your letters could change or touch someone's life. No jokes here. This point is jokeless.
9. Remember how fun Show-n-Tell was? This is like Show-n-Tell for grown-ups*.
* In this instance the term "grown-ups" is defined as anyone that is no longer in kindergarten.
10. Cause a part of you really wants to but you're too afraid. And if you let fear run your life, then the terrorists will have won.
1. What else are you gonna do with em? Keep them? Burn them, then put out the flames with your tears? Don't be such a waster, you're to blame for global warming.
Remember the three R's. Recycle. Re-gift and R-give us your letters please.
2. This will save you from eternally keeping that little box in the closet that he/she gave you filled with letters and memories and dried out roses and lies.
3. Going through your old letters will be cathartic and possibly even inspire you to break up with the person you're with now so you can send us the letter(s) from that. You can control your future. Everything ends. Why put off the inevitable?
4. You're going to get together with someone else to fill the void of the other person. Then you're gonna marry that person and throw all the letters out so that your new husband/wife doesn't find them and question your fucked up relationships and divorce you cause you're a passive aggressive, lousy lay. We'll keep it hush hush.
5. All the cool kids are doing it. Don't you want to be cool?
6. We're clinically depressed and the only thing that puts a smile on our faces are submissions from you. Don't be a bully. Let us smile again.
7. Remember that episode of Friends where Rachel calls Ross and leaves a message saying "she's over him" so she can get closure? Think of us as 'Ross's answering machine'.
8. Your letters could change or touch someone's life. No jokes here. This point is jokeless.
9. Remember how fun Show-n-Tell was? This is like Show-n-Tell for grown-ups*.
* In this instance the term "grown-ups" is defined as anyone that is no longer in kindergarten.
10. Cause a part of you really wants to but you're too afraid. And if you let fear run your life, then the terrorists will have won.
7 Comments:
OK, im am seriously going to find some break-up letters I have recieved. I am moving soon, so packing and unpacking should produce some results.
One thing. please don't make me anonymous or the other person. I want everyone to know just who the hell screwed me over and maybe they will send me gifts to console my absolutely abused heart.
It's been two years, and frankly i think it's pathetic that I go back and forth between being over it and not so over it. . so. . it is going to be a very long entry, I hope people are enthrawled enough to get through it. . .
they will be. bring it on. it's not pathetic. people pine for decades.
love,
-dwayne
i have a story.....it hurts.
a moment or two to gather my thoughts....
i have no letters, only memories is that ok for here?
more later.
we'll be waiting.
i love Reasons #5
I love reason #5 too!!
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