Saturday, November 19, 2005




INFO: Wilma and I were the singer and bass player in a band for about 3 years. After the first year I developed this brutal crush on her, painful and obsessive feelings that I couldn't get rid of. She knew about my feelings and, although she liked me as a friend... blah blah blah (you know the story). We never once talked about it, but it created (or, I should say, I created) some tense situations whenever she would
bring her boyfriends to gigs. I hated myself for it... hated who I became when I was around her. Well, she got fired for getting into a screaming match with the leader of the band (I didn't say she was perfect) and called me to make sure I would stay her friend. I tried for a little while, but without the band we had no real reason to get together. I tried to get her out on dates (without telling her how I felt, of course), she would make excuses to make sure we would not be alone on these "dates". The whole thing sort of came to a head with this phone call I left on her machine (I had it written out so I wouldn't fuck it up)... we have never spoken again (it's been 6 years):



"hi, it's Fred...

Listen, I hate who I am when I am around you. I turn into this obsessive, creepy, self-loathing version of myself. I know this is not your fault, but I can't stop the way i feel and I can't stand being your creepy crush! I'm sorry, I'm not strong enough to deal with this shit. I'm not going to call you or contact you in any way ever again, I would really appreciate it of you would do the same... sorry, I really am... bye"


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congratulations on being intelligent enough to recognize your creepiness and end a stalkerish existence before it started. Perhaps that phone call was the pinnacle of creepiness. Either way, I'm curious to know if you're better off now, or if you've experienced the same kind of response to other women since then.

6:06 PM, November 28, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think it's a little harsh to call me creepy.I really couldn't think of any other way to get past my feelings.I suppose I could have hung in there , but I know that would have made things much worse for me.I could have confronted her with my feelings...but why open myself up to certian rejection.I think it was a pretty bold thing to do, just end it...I am sort of glad I got her machine though....i would have kind of hated to have her just say "ok" and hang up on me.

12:45 AM, November 29, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

...I'm a lot more lucid about my relationships now.I don't let myself get crushed out anymore.That whole episode in my life came at a very vunerable time in my life.My heart is a more callused these days...I doubt this will happen again.

12:56 AM, November 29, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You called yourself creepy. You don't really mention if you were ACTUALLY creepy (no shrines to her in your bedroom- no bringing her gifts that you only would've known about had you tapped her phone/read her e-mails/journal etc...) so I was just going with a self-imposed description by the author.
Yes it was bold.

5:46 PM, November 29, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fred, the poster who called you creepy is the creepy one - you are absolutely not. Creepiness is not understanding the impact your actions have on someone and whether they are appropriate or not. You saw that you being around this girl was not appropriate or healthy for you and you took action. Good for you !

About the poster. He/She calls your phone call the "pinnacle of creepiness", then when you express that you think it harsh to be called creepy, he/she blames it on you ! Hurting someone and then blaming it on them is the pinnacle of creepiness.

The anonymous poster is creepy, not Fred.

Fred - you rock !

6:48 PM, December 09, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

well....thanks,really.That was nice of you to say so.

1:51 AM, December 23, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In his phone call, he calls himself creepy twice.
Just thought I'd point that out.

1:21 PM, September 26, 2006  

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