Thursday, March 09, 2006

CASE # 45: ANGRY GUY + SCARED GIRL



SUBMITTED BY: SCARED GIRL
LENGTH OF RELATIONSHIP: 5 dates over a month or so. I think the last email pretty much ended it for both of us, though we did pointedly ignore each other at the bar admissions ceremony a couple of weeks later.

INFO: AG and I met through an online dating site - after a week or so of exchanging emails, we agreed to meet up for dinner. We had gone to the same undergraduate institution (though not at the same time), and had just finished sitting for the same bar exam, so we had plenty to talk about. When he dropped me off that night, we kissed for 15-20 minutes, but that was about it. I was vulnerable at the time, and didn't want to rush into anything serious, emotionally or physically - which I made clear.

Our other dates were similar, though he'd let loose with vitriolic diatribe from time to time - gave off the impression of someone who hadn't been very popular in high school or college, and was still really bitter about the whole thing. I had really enjoyed our first date, though, so I chalked it up to nerves. I was becoming progressively less interested with every date, as he couldn't seem to just let things go. I had made up my mind to break up with him after date #5, when he even made miniature golf zero fun, but was hoping we could still be friends, as we managed to have enjoyable platonic conversations via email.

During such conversations, I had confessed that I was afraid to be left alone with infants because I didn't know how to care for them, and that I am violently allergic to any kind of cat or dog. For the record, I made him cookies which I gave him on our fifth date, because he said he had been too nervous about our upcoming bar results to eat very much.

I sent him an article I thought he might find interesting, about anti-Semitism in Europe. I'm Roman Catholic, and he is Jewish. He said he didn't really care about the religion of the person he was dating, though, which is just one of the reasons I found the following email exchange so unnecessarily vindictive. While I don't have a problem with deciding not to date someone who doesn't share your values, I don't understand why he wouldn't make his position clear from the outset. Though I'm not one to jump in the sack after five dates with a relative stranger, that's plenty of time to indicate your views on politics and religion, if that's important.

We'll go in chronological order:


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DATE: October 13, 2004
FROM: Scared Girl
TO: Angry Guy
SUBJECT: Re: mo' betta stuff


Sorry - no more fun stories like that. I could tell you about some of the bar-associated nightmares I've been having, though!

On a more depressing note (at least it will distract you from the bar), here is a rather lengthy but worthwhile article you might find interesting: http://www.frontpagemag.com/Articles/Printable.asp?ID=15464

Good luck. I'm checking every hour, just in case they post early. Ugh.

----------------------------------------------------

DATE: October 13, 2004
FROM: Angry Guy
TO: Scared Girl
SUBJECT: Re: mo' betta stuff


Actually, I previously read the article you forwarded, and it is indeed depressing.

I'm sort of curious as to how you came across it and why you sent it:

- frontpagmag.com is a conservative website run by David Horowitz, a former flower-child turned rightist commentator

- conservative blogs have linked to this article in order to show the wickedness of the European left

- the article crystalizes one major reason why I am a conservative: because antisemitism today mainly emanates from the hard left.

Sorry. Meant to tell you sooner.

your pal,

Angry guy

----------------------------------------------------


So he knew from the first time I emailed him that I'm a Democrat, and a Roman Catholic, and deliberately withheld his political orientation up to this point.


----------------------------------------------------

DATE: October 13, 2004
FROM: Scared Girl
TO: Angry Guy
SUBJECT: Yikes!


www.andrewsullivan.com was my source for the article. I read it more from the anti-American perspective, for obvious reasons, and feel that it aptly demonstrates the desperate need for a more cooperative foreign policy style than that which the US has adopted in recent years.

[A whole bunch of stuff defending the left against accusations of anti-semitism and suggesting that the current administration is both discriminatory and misguided, suggesting Jerry Falwell et al. are more to blame].

To each their own, I guess - I'm just all about voting my conscience, even if I am a [red state] resident and my vote doesn't count. Sigh.

----------------------------------------------------

DATE: October 13, 2004
FROM: Angry Guy
TO: Scared Girl
SUBJECT: none


A "more cooperative foreign policy style"? Do you really want to cooperate with these lunatic Jew haters? W. doesn't. Hence my affection for the man and support of his policy. Note that Yasser Arafat has never been invited to W's home. However, before it was W's home it seemed like the world's oldest and ugliest terrorist was a frequent house guest.

I don't know what Jerry Falwell thinks of Jews. What I do know is this: the Christian right is extremely pro-Israel. And you would never find a Republican protesting "apartheid fences" or "the Jewish occupation."

[he also included links to articles and photos about really nasty/borderline violent protests by radical left against Israel]

Andrew Sullivan was a conservative. I don't know what he is these days except self-absorbed.

----------------------------------------------------

DATE: October 14, 2004
FROM: Scared Girl
TO: Angry Guy
SUBJECT: Re: Yikes!


It doesn't seem to me as though Ed Koch was speaking from a religious perspective, or that he feels the administration has addressed the plight of Israel and Palestine or Jews at all - and the fact that he's been repeatedly passed over by the Democratic party indicates to me that his "switch" is really a case of sour grapes.

Ad hominem arguments aside (lunatic? you can do better than that), I'd just like to point out that Lieberman wasn't running on the Republican ticket. And would never have gotten the chance. Isn't domestic treatment of minorities, including Jews, as important as foreign animosity towards Israel? Especially considering that the US is where you live and vote?

[blah blah blah more defense of the left, more criticism of the right]

And here's the crowning glory, his mature, educated, well-thought-out response:

----------------------------------------------------

DATE: October 14, 2004
FROM: Angry Guy
TO: Scared Girl
SUBJECT: Re: Yikes!


Scared Girl,

You don't like puppies.

You don't like kittens.

You don't like children.

It's ironic that someone so hot can generate so little warmth.

It was down to you and another woman. Her name is P___. Not only are puppies and kittens and children [and me] a few of P___'s favorite things, but she's mature enough to accept that adults can disagree on issues in a dispassionate manner. And she's the funniest person I know. And she's totally hot. And the sex is awesome. And she's Jewish. And, most importantly, she would never tell me how I ought to think, as you did [previously].

Frankly, I don't see how you can compete.

I wish you all the best, and hope your bar exam results are favorable!

Angry guy.

10 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeesh! He's a jerk, you're better off without him. I pity his professional colleagues (assuming he passes the bar).

4:49 PM, March 09, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That guy sounds like an absolute tool. Consider yourself lucky to be rid of him. The other woman probably doesn't even exist and even if she does look what she has...was he trying to make you feel sad that you can't have him? Puh-lease! He needs to get over himself! Girlfriend, are on to BIGGER and BETTER things! :)

6:05 PM, March 11, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

His comment was completely sophmoric. I'm pretty sure no one danced with him at prom.

7:14 PM, March 11, 2006  
Anonymous Skeptical said...

I would be interested to see the parts of the letters you wrote that you left out. Maybe you were being obnoxious or rude? And what makes this guy so "scary" to you? This just doesn't add up for me.

4:29 AM, March 27, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What an unpleasant asshole. Anybody worth their salt recognizes that being anti-Israel doesn't equal anti-semitic. He acts like he went to Yale. And that's bad.

10:23 AM, April 09, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, he's a loser!

"And she's Jewish"?? If he met you on an online dating site, I'd assume he knew your religion early on? Gah!

My two forays into the online dating scene resulted in freakshows like this guy -- perfect on the outside, messsssed up on the inside.

4:02 AM, April 27, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He's not dating anyone else, and he has probably never had sex.

Those emails are probably why he was antisocial in highschool and college. Maybe he'll remove himself from the gene pool. Until then, keep on keepin' on. You have good political views, and he has a small penis. Not a good match.

10:31 PM, December 07, 2006  
Anonymous haveyouseenlucky said...

Looks like you really blew it!

You must cry yourslef to sleep each night, dreaming of what might have been.

12:00 PM, April 11, 2007  
Anonymous METALLICA ROX said...

Wow that dude is effed up LOL.

2:11 AM, July 10, 2008  
Blogger The Pumpernickel said...

Whoa, holy crap! Hey, at least you found out early on that this guy was insane. You dodged a bullet there.

3:53 PM, March 12, 2009  

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