Saturday, November 19, 2005

CASE #18: MIA + WOODY


drawing by mia.

SUBMITTED BY: MIA
INFO: Woody was an emotionally truncated documentary filmmaker with whom I carried out a relatively brief but extremely tumoultuous four month affair. We were united by our common dislikes, but eventually our differences (he was cold and bordered on sociopathy, I was passionate and bordered on psychosis), tore us apart. I ended things with him a few times and somehow he would always manage to lure me back in. Finally, when I had met someone who didn't make me sick, I emailed him that it was truly over this time and I wanted no further contact with him. Unfortunately I didn't save that email, but I did save his rejoinder. Following that is my rather nasty attempt at 'closure'. I've always had to have the last word...


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FROM: WOODY
TO: MIA
SUBJECT: No


Mia,
no offense, but please don't bother me any more: no chats, no emails, no phone calls. seriously, i'm really busy and i can't afford to waste the excess time - nothing personal. best of luck with the future and beyond.

PS i'm cool with things (honestly), so don't bother dropping me a line down the road to patch things up - as far as i'm concerned everything is fine. no animosity, nothing.

-Woody

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FROM: MIA
TO: WOODY
SUBJECT: Hail No


Woody,

There is nothing on this earth that would induce me to want to 'patch things up' with you. You are, among other things; Annoying. Arrogant. You're not nearly as smart as you think you are, as evidenced by the sloppy way you've left record of your bigoted remarks all over the internet. One day this will bite you in the ass. Trust me. Cocky. Please don't let this little bit of success go to your head any further - you're already not well liked in this town. Conceited: You're about half as attractive as you think you are. And really bad in bed: I mean what 31 year old 'man' cums in under a minute? I've seen more talented tongues on a shoe.

So, you're cool with things? Well that's great. I don't honestly think I've done anything to you that would make you 'not cool'. And, I didn't want to stoop to your level but after your "don't forget to take your meds" and "casual is indifferent" comments I just couldn't help myself. This whole thing was simply about being respectful but I realize that word is not in your lexicon. It is laughable that you think I was falling for you. Did you not wonder why I had already stood you up twice? I was with someone whose company I actually enjoy. Please do Vancouver a favour and stay sequestered in your apartment. Be assured that I will never give you another thought, or contact you, again.

me.

p.s. I would think twice about besmirching my name around town as I have kept all evidence of our conversations and I really don't think that it would be in your best interest to have choice tidbits such as: "who knows if the world would have been better off if Hitler had been allowed to carry out his plans?" leaked to the appropriate people.

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm curious to know what kind of "evidence" you have documenting such choice conversations. Tape recordings? Video recordings? Was it just a bluff on your part?

6:11 PM, November 30, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

His letter is polite, to the point and honest. Hers is abusive and ranting. From the letters, he is healthy and she is a cruel hag. She even admits to having to always have the last word. Yuck.

6:55 PM, December 09, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is the worst possible formula for a relationship. No wonder...the above anonymous commentor is mostly right - but we have to first ask why a passionate woman would be so needy as to enter into a relationship with this...robot? She is needy, and although abusive, this really isn't too unusual given his alienation. What a freak! I mean, predictably, she would want to push his buttons to get something out of him, right?

What a toxic brew!

10:23 PM, December 26, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My word...how horrific does she sound...add paranoia to the list as well - "DON'T TALK ABOUT ME!" and anyway, that question about Hitler...it's one that's been going about basically since he was kicked in the ass. "If you could go back in time and kill hitler would you?" its not applauding the sociopaths actions, it's a sociological question. But actually I doubt Mia was thinking that. I think she was probably thinking "I'm fat...aren't I?"

7:51 PM, January 22, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can almost garentee the email that Mia sent out was fixed up before she sent it away to e-closure. It seems to be she added some witty remarks to add to the insensitivity of her letter. She sounds like a loon commenting on his elapsed orgasm time, it's as if she is trying to make herself sound like the arrogant and cocky one.

What a psycho.

7:21 PM, April 30, 2006  
Anonymous Yick..yum said...

I like the penis in that drawing. Nice and hairy.

3:11 AM, May 07, 2006  
Blogger April said...

Where are these men in their 30's who last more than a min?

9:54 PM, January 24, 2009  

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