Tuesday, October 25, 2005

CASE #12: POOKY + PUDDING


click the picture to enlarge it.

SUBMITTED BY: POOKY (MALE)
LENGTH OF RELATIONSHIP: 4 MONTHS
INFO: Pudding and I dated for about four months at the end of my first year of University, but two of those months (june and july, I think) she was off in H********* working for some summer camp.

She had a few issues from the start.

See, she was very politically active (which is fine), and intensely stubborn about world issues (alright, I can deal with that) - but tell me, folks - is it okay for a girlfriend to give you fucking homework? She'd say something like: "here, read this... it's about Bush's foreign policy", which would have been fine, but she followed up with me, too! If I hadn't "done the readings" so to speak, she'd proceed to chirp me for an hour about how I don't even try to share her interests. Same deal when I told her I couldn't go to some anti-American rally because I had a paper to write.

So anyway, that summer I was looking for an apartment, and my friend of about 18 years let me stay at his place for a couple of months while I looked for one. After about a week, it became very clear to me one thing about my buddy Kevin - he had a lot of female friends. Hot ones. Hot ones that were into me.

So came the day that I finally decided to break things off with Pudding, but the problem was that she was off at this camp, and could only use the phone for maybe ten minutes every other day.

This meant I had to do things over the phone... and quickly, too. I can't really remember what I said, but it sure as shit wasn't "Kevin has hot friends and I want to nail them all."

I can be very sneaky sometimes.

Either way, after that horrific phone call, she sent me a letter (handwritten, now lost due to an incident with another ex-girlfriend - let's just say she wasn't pleased about my nostalgia and found solace in a book of matches and my garbage can). What I submit to you now is a response to that letter. Keep in mind, I'm trying to let 'er down easy. I don't think I ever got a reply to this.


----------------------------------------------------

FROM: POOKY (MALE)
TO: PUDDING (FEMALE)
SUBJECT: DEAR PUDDING

14 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dosn't really sound like you broke up with her for any real reason's.. sound's like you followed your friends lead.. and his friends attention!

2:56 AM, October 26, 2005  
Anonymous Pooky said...

Re-read the first bit. She was a psycho trying to impress her beliefs on me (I grew up partially in Boston, too). And yes, I did follow my friend's lead. And yes, you should revise your apostrophe use.

3:18 PM, October 26, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd disagree that being politically active makes somebody a psycho. Interesting? Exciting? Intelligent? Much more likely than psychotic. When someone is passionate about something, and then meets someone they're interested in, they're likely to want to talk about it, and also likely to hope for some kind of solidarity with that person. Obviously the two of you had different goals...that does not make her a psycho.

4:24 PM, October 26, 2005  
Anonymous Pooky said...

You people have issues reading stuff. It's FINE to be politically active, it's FINE to be passionate about politics. Just don't expect me to deal with your bitching if I don't jump behind you at a rally. And seriously, homework? Come the fuck on, now. If you're going to comment...READ THE THING FIRST.

10:00 PM, October 26, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

well you could have been blunt and got straight to the point. if she got hurt oh well she should have seen it comin. besides maybe she is better with a friend who has something in common. Nevertheless you dont have to judge someone pyscho because their tryin to get you involved in something they enjoy. she was just stupid in another sense. find someone your compatible with and move on. besides she might meet another Bill Clinton. and dont talk your pussy whipped cuz you kinda do. laterz!!

2:01 AM, October 30, 2005  
Anonymous Pooky said...

You know what? You're right. She wasn't for me at all, and she's most certainly better off with someone equally "stupid", as you so eloquently put it. Pussy whipped? Ummm...no way. I refused under any circumstance to placate to her whimsy; she had about a million other issues that this little truncated paraphrasing didn't include. But yeah...I guess I was a little nice about the whole break up thing. Trust me when I say, however, that this was not the type of girl I could have been blunt with. I guess you just kinda had to be there.

2:11 AM, October 30, 2005  
Blogger e-closure.com said...

I just wanna take this moment to congratulate Pooky on not resorting to name calling and/or lashing back at the viewer's with anything less than what I would call maturity.
You're an inspiration and I get you letter. Alright. It's late.
r& r.
-Dwayne

2:26 AM, October 30, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anyone who gets mad because the other didn't do what they asked them to do is controlling and scary. Controlling has to be the most pathetic and presumptuous emotion out there. If Pooky saw those suggestions as homework, then this goes much deeper than what's being written. The hotties at Pookies friends house were just there at the right time. Rock on Pookie !!

12:49 PM, November 20, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I totally agree... the bitch should get back in her box, keep her mouth shut, wear a muzzle, and get a life of her own.

11:17 PM, December 11, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who uses the word "frangible" in a breakup letter? Someone trying to make excuses for their own shitty behavior. Considering Pooky already admitted that he ditched this girl to chase tail, I chalk the rest of this up to rationalization. Also something about the new ex-girlfriend burning his letters tells me this guy's into drama (or else doesn't want to represent Pudding's side of the story)

5:47 PM, December 15, 2005  
Anonymous Ben said...

Wow if i could find a girl all political like that I'd marry her right then

1:27 PM, January 25, 2006  
Anonymous zygomatic said...

To Pooky:

You didn't lead her on and thats good. But you played the victim in your letter. If there weren't any fine girls into you at kevin's place, would you still break it off with pudding? I think the letter should have read, simply, that you are moving on with your life, as you would find yourself in a healthier state of being by such.. If she had any questions, it would really be up to you to go into explenations. But I wouldn't of, if she asked. Too many loop holes in this situation.

Thanks for your submission.

9:29 AM, April 22, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The gal sounds psycho. Pooky sounds like a dude with some attitude. All in all, I wonder if he ended up getting any ass from Kevins hot friends.

7:01 PM, April 30, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, totally forgot about this. I can't remember my login, but I assure you this is my letter. To answer some questions:
a) I don't like drama. In fact, I hate drama. Makes stuff interesting, sure, but don't burn stuff. I can't condone that.
b) I would have broken up with her even without the other girls around. All I'm trying to say about chasing tail is that when you've hit an end with someone, the grass starts to look WAY greener over yonder. I think you can agree with that.
c) I wasn't 100% honest with her, and I wish I had been. I was only 18. I've learned a hell of a lot since then.
d) As for the other girls, I only got a little boob squeeze and some finger-blasting.

5:59 PM, January 19, 2007  

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