CASE #12: POOKY + PUDDING
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SUBMITTED BY: POOKY (MALE)
LENGTH OF RELATIONSHIP: 4 MONTHS
INFO: Pudding and I dated for about four months at the end of my first year of University, but two of those months (june and july, I think) she was off in H********* working for some summer camp.
She had a few issues from the start.
See, she was very politically active (which is fine), and intensely stubborn about world issues (alright, I can deal with that) - but tell me, folks - is it okay for a girlfriend to give you fucking homework? She'd say something like: "here, read this... it's about Bush's foreign policy", which would have been fine, but she followed up with me, too! If I hadn't "done the readings" so to speak, she'd proceed to chirp me for an hour about how I don't even try to share her interests. Same deal when I told her I couldn't go to some anti-American rally because I had a paper to write.
So anyway, that summer I was looking for an apartment, and my friend of about 18 years let me stay at his place for a couple of months while I looked for one. After about a week, it became very clear to me one thing about my buddy Kevin - he had a lot of female friends. Hot ones. Hot ones that were into me.
So came the day that I finally decided to break things off with Pudding, but the problem was that she was off at this camp, and could only use the phone for maybe ten minutes every other day.
This meant I had to do things over the phone... and quickly, too. I can't really remember what I said, but it sure as shit wasn't "Kevin has hot friends and I want to nail them all."
I can be very sneaky sometimes.
Either way, after that horrific phone call, she sent me a letter (handwritten, now lost due to an incident with another ex-girlfriend - let's just say she wasn't pleased about my nostalgia and found solace in a book of matches and my garbage can). What I submit to you now is a response to that letter. Keep in mind, I'm trying to let 'er down easy. I don't think I ever got a reply to this.
FROM: POOKY (MALE)
TO: PUDDING (FEMALE)
SUBJECT: DEAR PUDDING