Thursday, July 12, 2007


INFO: Hi, My relationship with this girl lasted for three months. After not speaking with her for five days, fearing the psychotic breakdown that would surely ensue, I took the coward's way out and utilized technology to save my own life. Lucas is me (male), Brooke is her.

Brooke (5:38:36 PM): why do i feel like im getting the silent treatment
Lucas (5:39:03 PM): you're not?
Brooke (5:38:57 PM): and its making me feel so shitty
Brooke (5:39:13 PM): and unwanted
Brooke (5:40:04 PM): bc it def feels like im getting it and it feels like im getting it bad
Lucas (5:41:07 PM): sorry you feel that way?
Brooke (5:41:03 PM): Lucas my heart is spiltting
Brooke (5:41:08 PM): and it hurts
Brooke (5:42:30 PM): we havent talked in 5 days. you never return any of my phone calls or any of my texts. whats up?
Lucas (5:43:40 PM): idk i just want out?
Brooke (5:43:43 PM): you do?
Brooke (5:44:03 PM): i thought we were doing so amazing
Brooke (5:44:57 PM): omg my heart is going a million miles an hour
Lucas (5:45:18 PM): idk you deserve better than me anyways
Brooke (5:45:11 PM): LUCAS
Brooke (5:45:15 PM): you're totally joking right
Brooke (5:45:22 PM): please tell me you are?
Brooke (5:45:28 PM): (Sad crying emoticon face)
Brooke (5:46:03 PM): like this is so random you've got to be kidding
Brooke (5:46:14 PM): hahaha funny joke Lucas
Lucas (5:47:06 PM): lol sorry but no
Brooke (5:47:08 PM): wait so i dont get this
Brooke (5:47:16 PM): what happened between us that changed so much
Brooke (5:47:41 PM): i totally thought we were perfect. like you're parents love me and everything
Lucas (5:48:15 PM): yeah
Brooke (5:48:12 PM): so what happened
Brooke (5:49:03 PM): we've been dating for 2 months and its not ending as random as this
Lucas (5:49:32 PM): i don't know
Lucas (5:49:37 PM): i'm just weird?
Brooke (5:49:26 PM): Lucas tell me
Brooke (5:49:39 PM): omg is this a freakin joke
Brooke (5:49:48 PM): bc im honestly about to puke
Brooke (5:49:53 PM): so its not funny at all
Lucas (5:51:13 PM): sorry
Brooke (5:51:08 PM): Lucas seriously
Brooke (5:51:21 PM): no what is there another girl or something?
Lucas (5:51:47 PM): no
Brooke (5:51:44 PM): there no way that we were crazy for eachother and one day you randomly decide i dont want her anymore
Brooke (5:51:50 PM): you cant do that
Brooke (5:52:22 PM): what am i doing wrong?
Brooke (5:52:39 PM): its not like i take you away from your friends a lot or anything
Brooke (5:52:52 PM): like i want to know what is making you not want me
Lucas (5:53:31 PM): its not you
Brooke (5:53:33 PM): Lucas thats not true
Brooke (5:53:39 PM): so whats so wrong with you
Brooke (5:54:20 PM): bc you are not aloud to break my heart like this when i didnt do anything wrong. you just arent. i need you. you are the only thing that keeps me going
Brooke (5:54:31 PM): (broken heart emoticon)
Lucas (5:55:18 PM): i'm sorry
Brooke (5:55:56 PM): Lucas talk to me
Brooke (5:55:59 PM): im going over right now
Lucas (5:57:11 PM): i'm just weird
Lucas (5:57:17 PM): like
Lucas (5:57:20 PM): people change
Lucas (5:57:24 PM): just for no reason
Lucas (5:57:26 PM): it happens
Brooke (5:57:22 PM): haha not this random
Brooke (5:57:36 PM): so what do you use girls and then 5 days later fuck her?
Brooke (5:57:50 PM): like im crazy for you
Brooke (5:58:02 PM): and their no way you randomly arent crazy for me anymore
Brooke (5:58:05 PM): there is no way
Lucas (5:59:18 PM): sorry
Brooke (5:59:30 PM): no no way
Brooke (5:59:34 PM): ill see you in 30 minutes
Lucas (5:59:57 PM): excuse me?
Brooke (5:59:57 PM): im coming over to see you.
Lucas (6:00:15 PM): no you aren't
Brooke (6:00:10 PM): omg why not
Brooke (6:00:31 PM): you arent aloud to act this way. and so random. ive given you everything and more
Lucas (6:00:53 PM): listen you're making this soo much harder than it has to be
Brooke (6:01:08 PM): no im not we have been dating for 2 months and this isnt fair to me ive given my all for you
Brooke (6:01:21 PM): and now you are randomly wanting to end this
Brooke (6:01:30 PM): i want a reason a serious reason
Brooke (6:01:52 PM): Lucas this isnt hard for you?
Lucas (6:02:11 PM): yeah it is
Lucas (6:02:17 PM): but you're making it worse
Brooke (6:02:15 PM): so why are you doing it
Lucas (6:02:49 PM): because i just don't feel anything for you anymore
Brooke (6:02:37 PM): why are you randomly not wanting me seriously
Brooke (6:02:47 PM): are you serious
Brooke (6:03:03 PM): what did you hear that is making you think this?
Brooke (6:03:26 PM): seriously. Lucas you dont date someone for 2 months and then randomly decide not to date them
Brooke (6:03:37 PM): bc you dont have feelings for them
Brooke (6:03:40 PM): it doesnt happen
Brooke (6:03:47 PM): not when we have been through
Brooke (6:03:50 PM): so much together
Brooke (6:04:03 PM): like you had to hear something that is making you feel this way?
Lucas (6:04:27 PM): no i've heard it all before
Brooke (6:04:25 PM): what talk to me
Brooke (6:04:34 PM): please i need you and this needs to be fixed
Lucas (6:04:52 PM): i could care less what people say
Brooke (6:05:09 PM): ok so why randomly do you change your feelings for me after taking me home to meet your parents and everything
Brooke (6:05:11 PM): i need to know
Brooke (6:05:28 PM): there is no way you could just lose all feelings for me
Brooke (6:05:53 PM): talk to me
Lucas (6:06:30 PM): idk i just need to get a change
Lucas (6:06:31 PM): that’s all
Brooke (6:06:41 PM): get a change. what is that suppossed to mean?
Brooke (6:06:50 PM): im not good enough so you need new ass
Lucas (6:07:20 PM): dont say that
Lucas (6:07:25 PM): because you know its not true
Brooke (6:07:15 PM): so get a change but dont change me.
Brooke (6:07:18 PM): LUCAS THATS SO TRUE
Brooke (6:07:29 PM): im seriously coming over right now
Lucas (6:07:56 PM): no
Brooke (6:07:43 PM): you arent ruining my life over this. when i know you need me
Lucas (6:08:00 PM): you're not
Lucas (6:08:05 PM): please
Lucas (6:08:08 PM): please
Lucas (6:08:09 PM): get over it
Brooke (6:07:55 PM): yes i am
Lucas (6:08:12 PM): it happens
Lucas (6:08:12 PM): no
Lucas (6:08:14 PM): you're not
Brooke (6:08:34 PM): get over it? omg
Brooke (6:08:41 PM): i cant believe you can say that to me
Lucas (6:08:59 PM): please just move on
Brooke (6:08:47 PM): like i never mattered at all
Brooke (6:08:54 PM): move on? omg Lucas
Lucas (6:09:10 PM): Brooke stop
Brooke (6:09:06 PM): its like i never meant anything to you at all
Lucas (6:09:30 PM): of course you do
Lucas (6:09:45 PM): just not in the same way anymore
Lucas (6:09:52 PM): i have to go to dinner
Lucas (6:10:03 PM): i'll call you tonight if you want
Brooke (6:09:51 PM): FUCK YOU we are sooooo done
Lucas (6:10:09 PM): no shit?
Lucas (6:10:15 PM): sorry it had to come to this
Brooke (6:10:01 PM): peace
Brooke (6:10:09 PM): what am i suppossed to do
Brooke (6:10:15 PM): you randomly decide to drop me
Lucas (6:10:30 PM): take it in stride
Brooke (6:10:17 PM): like this
Lucas (6:10:35 PM): please stop
Brooke (6:10:23 PM): you broke my heart
Brooke (6:10:24 PM): NO
Brooke (6:10:27 PM): this is so random
Brooke (6:10:36 PM): you made me so happy
Lucas (6:10:53 PM): you dont have to do it this way
Lucas (6:10:58 PM): you really dont
Brooke (6:11:07 PM): yes i do
Lucas (6:11:43 PM): lets just go our seperate ways happily
Lucas (6:11:44 PM): please
Brooke (6:11:39 PM): w.e.
Brooke (6:11:52 PM): peace out. have fun.
Brooke (6:11:57 PM): see you the fuck never
Lucas (6:12:17 PM): Brooke
Brooke (6:12:05 PM): im off to Jasons
Lucas (6:12:24 PM): be nice
Brooke (6:12:20 PM): no
Lucas (6:12:37 PM): i'm not being mean
Brooke (6:12:22 PM): you arent being nice
Brooke (6:12:27 PM): YES YOU ARE
Lucas (6:12:45 PM): i'm just stating the facts
Brooke (6:12:45 PM): you are randomly breaking my heart bc you are sick of me and need a change
Brooke (6:12:48 PM): what facts ?
Lucas (6:13:09 PM): oh god
Brooke (6:12:58 PM): in 4 days you randomly get sick of me
Lucas (6:13:33 PM): ok well lets talk when you're not furious
Brooke (6:13:35 PM): after our wed. of me going to work late and have good sex. you randomly decide not to date me

Auto Response from Lucas (6:13:50 PM): dinner

Brooke (6:13:49 PM): im always going to be furious and i never want to see you AGAIN
Lucas (6:14:12 PM): dont say that
Lucas (6:14:14 PM): you dont mean it
Brooke (6:14:13 PM): yes i do. how do i not your breaking my heart
Brooke (6:29:56 PM): honestly just please never talk to me ever again
Brooke (6:30:41 PM): you might have fucked up my life a little
Brooke (6:30:49 PM): but you just killed yours
Brooke (6:31:30 PM): take me off your friends list on myspace
Brooke (6:34:06 PM): o p.s. i will always be furious at you
Brooke (6:34:31 PM): o shit and i just ordered that fuckin 360 too fuck

Brooke went away at 6:35:22 PM.

Brooke (6:36:00 PM): im not a UPS box that you just send packing and forget about
Brooke (6:36:02 PM): uh hu
Brooke (6:44:28 PM): peace out. im off to Jasons. when you grow those balls that i know you have you can talk to me. ps you are going to regret this soon
Lucas (6:45:29 PM): you said to never talk to you again


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love it. I dated a "Lucas" before, and he ended it the same way. Fucked me up for a long time. I was obsessed with him, so I can kind of relate to Brooke. She sounds like I did before I started my medication. She used the word "random" too much, which I didn't like.

10:07 PM, July 12, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As has been mentioned before, the "You're the only thing keeping me going," crap is just that: Crap. It sounds to me like Brooke put way too much into something that wasn't anything as big as she thought it was, and THEN wasn't able to let it go when there obviously wasn't anything she could do to keep it together. You can't MAKE someone stay. Let him go.

As for Lucas, he's just an ass. He can break up with whomever he wants, whenever he wants, but he's still an ass.

10:30 PM, July 14, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know you've been short on letters lately, but please try to avoid posting breakups between 12 year olds if you can. It's just annoying.

3:18 PM, July 16, 2007  
Blogger said...

nah. 12 year old's need perspective too. and seriously, we're dying to be associated with anyone who types "w.e." instead of "whatever"

3:44 PM, July 16, 2007  
Anonymous reverend steve said...

Lucas is a machine. In one hour and seven minutes, he breaks up with Brooke, completely destroys her emotionally, and still manages to eat a nutritious dinner.

This is one of my favourite e-closures ever. For one, the unedited IM format catered to my ADD. For two, it wasn't too long at all. I think all future breakups should take place over IM, last no longer than 1.5 hours, and be adjourned temporarily to eat a meal.

Thanks, Lucas!

11:17 PM, July 18, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I adore Rev. Steve.

I, too, once had a completely random breakup experience after a few months of what I thought was bliss. Worry not, Brooke, he changed his mind a week or so later and we got back together. And then another month later and we split. And then another week later and back together. Repeat a half dozen times over the course of 2.5 years until I tapped into my grey matter and called it off for good. So you'll have plenty of opportunity to be ecstatic/angsty over him.

But next time, please learn the difference between "aloud" and "allowed." By seventh grade, you should have covered homonyms already.

9:56 AM, July 20, 2007  
Blogger Aileen said...

That was too funny. I can't believe he two months with her in the first place, she sounds like a dolt. They dated for two months, not two years. Give me a break! LOL!

8:46 PM, July 22, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thats so sad.first you have to love yourself,then you have to realize that it is better to break apart now than be destroyed emotionaly for ever,boths of you need to have and achieve more experience,before to engage in an anothers aventure like that.
Just move up and next time take your time before to dream yourself into a nightmare.

12:58 PM, July 23, 2007  
Blogger Cars said...

nice blog : Laptop information, laptop,

8:07 PM, July 24, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

She has to get over it, but you're slack in a not funny way.

8:47 PM, July 24, 2007  
Blogger essequemodeia said...

Wow, this is the kind of organic and slightly odd breakup that reminds me what it was like to be 16.

It's automatic to close one's eyes and try to picture two people typing on computers with looks on their respective faces that belie the complications of modern juvey life.

Lucas - A good looking but frumpy dude who is unencumbered by pesky emotions.

Chick - A slightly unattractive yet sexy needer who was totally into this guy until he shat in her corn flakes.

A great read and a wonderful post.

6:55 AM, July 26, 2007  
Anonymous Lucas said...

Thanks for the comments everyone. I'll admit freely that I was very far from sensitive in regard to the emotional insecurity of "Brooke". I suppose that for me, the relationship was purely physical, something that I couldn't bring myself to say to Brooke, in fear of the outburst that would follow. However, I learned something from that relationship. I no longer date girls primarily based on their physical attributes. It always ends poorly. Also, I'd like to add that the way in which I broke up with Brooke was insensitive and poorly handled, but that I'd like to see anyone else handle the situation better. I feared for my life.

Two months after the break up, we arranged to see each other one night. We had sex, and I left in the night. She came to my house the next morning without contacting me (the ultimate invasion of privacy) in tears, claiming that the sex should have led to us going back out again. I brought her out of my house, and locked the doors and windows, even on the second floor. My eyes fully opened to the severe dependency issues of Brooke, I have never contacted her since. She is still not taking any medication to this day, to poor results. She has since had sex with five other men, all of whom realized the precariousness of Brooke's mental sanity and broke up with her in a matter of weeks.

Finally, "essequemodeia", Brooke looks (and, one could argue, acts) like Paris Hilton. I have no idea what I look like.

5:13 PM, August 09, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHHAHA! Lucas is kind of an ass, but this Brooke character makes me feel embarrassed to be a female.

Everybody, chillllllll.

6:28 PM, September 10, 2007  
Anonymous Ms. Jackson said...

"Brooke" sounds scary!!

10:27 PM, May 13, 2009  
Anonymous Stephanie said...

OMG wow, the same exact thing JUST happened to me. Like I could swear that this was me and my exes conversation. WOW.

11:49 AM, June 23, 2009  

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