CASE #5: STACY + FABIO
SUBMITTED BY: STACY
LENGTH OF RELATIONSHIP: 1.5 MONTHS
INFO: These are things that I said to him over the course of our break-up. They were delivered by phone / text / e-mail / before, during and after sex / face-to-face.
SUBJECT: Why we need a (permanent) break (for a GOOD long period of time)...
- Because I can't breathe.
- My best friends mean too much to me and you don't.
- I don't feel like myself.
- You're scary looking. I think I was on drugs when I first met you. Then got suckered into dating you. Sorry. Hey man, you've said a lot harsher words than that to me.
- I feel dull / not-creative / lifeless / trapped.
- The relationship is unhealthy.
- It is unfixable / the more we try, the more unhealthy it got.
- A constant battle.
- I'm finished fooling myself / I'm not in love / I'm not ready for marriage or for kids.
- You were challenging me / empty threats / telling me "no, you cannot do this".
- I wanted to prove you wrong, but I realize now that I don't need to.
- And no, me dumping you will NOT kill you.
- I don't know what I want, but I know what I don't want.
- I feel pressured.
- Yeah, I messed up... but I'm glad that it happened now as opposed to six months down the road.
- We fought too much, and we only dated a month and a half.
- Everything's too absurd, you're too dramatic.
- Our relationship went too fast.
- I wanted to be in love so badly, that I made myself believe it... I love you, but I don't "love" you... and I feel like I led you on, to a point. And it's not fair. We are NOT being fair to EACH OTHER.
- I'm not ready for everything to be so set in stone, like how you wanted.
- I'm too independent to feel like I am being so trapped / so controlled / so manipulated.
- You don't treat me as an equal, you treat me like a child. You disrespect me, you yell at me. You don't give me time to speak, and time to voice my opinion and my thoughts.
- You have a lot of life experience, a lot more than I have been through. You have been alone, and I want to feel alone. I want to feel everything in life. I want to be heart broken. I want to screw up. I'm not ready for this. I don't want to be a house wife at 25. I want to experience all these things for myself. And life is short, and it's about experiencing it for yourself. I can't give on demand. And you expected too much of me, too often. And it wasn't fair.
- This relationship isn't normal. We are at two completely different points in our lives.
- I don't need to need somebody, unlike you.
- I don't need to break your heart, again. Although you're such a jerk, I wouldn't mind doing it over and over. You deserve it. Seriously.
- You're WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too needy.
- I feel like I am too selfish right now to be in such a serious relationship.
- This relationship taught me a lot, a lot of self-discovery. I got to see more of my true colours, and UNFORTUNATELY, a lot of your true colours.
- You can't force me to show emotion. You can't force me to be there for you. I will be there when I am ready. I will show emotion when I am ready. And I'm not ready right now. STOP FORCING ME. GOD! If I could, I would smack you.
- We are going two completely separate directions right now. It's not fair to you. And it is not fair to me.
- YOU'RE COMPLETELY SUFFOCATING ME!!!!!!
- I'm not running away out of fear, I'm running away because I am smart. And I am learning what I need, and what I want, and what I don't want. And you have taught me a lot.
- I need you to respect my decision. I need you to not manipulate (cause you are REALLY good at it... so good you should take it up as a profession) me, and my thoughts. You need to stop controlling me, because that is how I feel. I feel controlled.
- I don't want to hurt you again, and so that is why I have to let you go. And I don't want you to hurt me anymore, and that is why I have to go. We upset each other too much. You words, they are sarcastic at times, and to be honest, they hurt.
- I don't see us getting back together, ever. Not when you get back, not in a month, not in six months, not in a year.
- I am who I am. Got a problem? Fuck off.