Wednesday, October 12, 2005


click the picture above to see a larger version.

INFO: OK. At first, you may think this letter is just a boring and standard letter from a self-indulgent bumface. Well, that's only the half-truth. See, the story of Krista and I is what makes these letters funny... and special.

It began in the fall of 1996, about 9 years ago now. Krista and I shared a love of Kurt Cobain, trying to be cool, and makin' out. In the first round we dated for 2 months and everything seemed good. One day, out of nowhere... BAM! She dropped me off blindfolded in Dumpville with only the shirt on my back and the change in my pocket. No explanation, no nothing. I was pissed.

About a month passed, and I eventually made my way back to the city. When I got there, I found Krista waiting for me with two cds in hand. "Listen to these," she told me, "and maybe you'll find it in your heart to take me back." The cds were Pieces of You by Jewel and Pinkerton by Weezer.

As I listened those albums on a crisp January afternoon in 1997, I couldn't help but shed a few tears thinking about what I had lost. Krista had told me to pay special attention to the songs "You Were Meant For Me" and "Pink Triangle" (not sure about pink triangle, but whatever). After I listened to them, I decided that I would take her back. What can I say? I was a sucker for Jewel. Anything Jewel told me had to be true, right? Fucking wrong.

Our second honeymoon only lasted two weeks. Krista broke up with me again, and this time I was livid. I didn't yell at her or anything... it's not my style. Instead, I went to jam with my cheesy high school metal band and wrote some songs about it.

Fast forward to August of 1997. My parents had gone out of town for a week, and I was having a week long house party to celebrate that fact. One of the people closely associated with my band was hanging out at my house all week, and coincidentally, he was a close friend of Krista's. Towards the end of our week-long bender he delivered a letter on behalf of her and told me she was deeply sorry for the way she had treated me.

Normally I would've been flattered. The thing was, I just didn't care anymore. In the six months since our relationship imploded for the second time, I had dated someone (who we'll call "Deidre") and broken up with her. I told him quite simply that I was over it; I would take the letter, I said, but I'm not even gonna read it.

And that's the way it was. I didn't read that letter for 8 years, until just this past weekend. 8 years of space, and I still feel the same as I did the day I got it: Over it.

Let me repeat: 8 fucking years. These words are as fresh to me as they are to you. Enjoy!

p.s. the words on the other side of the page are from a toni braxton song...


SUBJECT: take me back...




Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dwayne, Charles, I can't read that. Granted, it's 1:20 AM on a work night and my eyes are computer-shot 'cause I just can't get enough of this shit...Can I say shit on your web-site? You're the boss but I still can't read that.

And I kinda wanna.

1:23 AM, October 14, 2005  
Blogger said...

hey anonymous. it blows up bigger if you click on it. or maybe you mean the toni braxton lyrics, those are harder to read. there's a link to the lyrics. we love you.

2:14 PM, October 14, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Didn't *everybody* write or receive one of these high school? I swear, I was looking for the cutesy bubbles above the i's....

9:38 PM, October 20, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Stay away from MEEE--Heee!


There's my song quote.

7:47 AM, November 04, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Obviously, the guy deserved this treatment cause he listened to Jewel. Maybe this was the message she was sending him:

"You Were Meant for Me"="You Were Meant for Me" because Jewel lyrics are ... Jewel lyrics.

"Pink Triangle" is obviously code for "Pussy"

"You Were Meant for Me, you Total Pussy"

Why is it that people get into the bubble-writing phase and then grow out of it (hopefully)? Also, not only did Krista do the bubble-writing, it's that kind of confused slant-in-many-directions bubble-writing that psychos and Olsen twin fans use.

3:33 AM, November 23, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i love how you can tell it was folded by a high school girl. I hope this was a high school relationship...

3:32 PM, December 16, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ca-rrazy b*tch idiot. Dodged a bullet, buddy!

4:27 PM, April 23, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wtf!! pink triangle??? isn't that song about a guy who is in love with a lesbian?? read the lyrics.

7:07 PM, July 22, 2008  
Blogger said...

that's probably why he said:
"(not sure about pink triangle, but whatever)"

8:42 PM, July 22, 2008  

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