CASE #15 :JESSICA & NICK

SUBMITTED BY: JESSICA
LENGTH OF RELATIONSHIP: OVER A YEAR
INFO: Nick and I dated for a little over a year. It was a long distance relationship, but we both had talked about it and agreed that it could only be done by two people that loved each other as much as we did. We were very serious and talked about getting married. The thing about these letters is that he claims to not want a girlfriend right now, but he actually left me for another woman. He tries to make me feel like the bad person, like I've made him depressed, I've opressed, his state of living is so bad now and it's all my fault. He broke up with me through e-mail - how cheesy!?!? Then, when she dumped him about 3 months later, he actually tried to come back to me. I don't know, take it as it is... I'm not mad at him, but this was the worst heart break I think I could have ever experienced in a lifetime.

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DATE: N/A
FROM: NICK
TO: JESSICA
SUBJECT: the breakup (you need this)...

anyways, on to you. i have come to the conclussion that i can't handle this anymore. i can't deal with any sort of a relationship... my life, my mind, absolutely everything in my life has been completely twisted around in the past couple months, and i know that i can't do this anymore. i don't want, nor can i deal with a relationship right now... in fact, in more deep thought i realized that i don't think that i ever want to get married - to anyone... right now i would rather be dead and buried.

i wanted to call and talk to you about this tonight, but the impending police call kinda forced me into this. i don't honestly know how you are going to handle this, but please... don't try and fight me on it - i know if you think about it you will realize, as i have, that this is better for you... you never really did anything wrong. i just know that the past 4-5 months... i've been kidding myself and you... this isn't going to work for a myriad of reasons... i still have love for you - but i can't do this... i just can't. the only thing i ask of you is for you not to fight me on this... just trust me in saying that it's all for the better.

currently i can't fathom what's going on in your head - probably a fair amount of hatred for me. that's about what i expected and undoubtedly deserve. but my mind can't be changed... it's been made up as it has been for over a week now...

jessica, i do love you and i wish you nothing but the best... but for your own sake - and i know that you think im just throwing you a huge line of bullshit here - this is the best route... like i said, i don't want, don't need, nor can i mentally or emotionally handle a relationship right now... i don't want any part of one. hate me as you may, i know it's better for both of us - you don't have to deal with/put up with me, and in turn i don't have to deal with a relationship that the only time it was remotely stable in the past 7 months was for a week when you were here (and even then, in the only week we ever had - we fought). it's just not right. i no longer believe in the idea that love will solve anyting, esspecially when i can't provide you with the love you need, or you give me any sort of emotional stability (which isn't your fault in the least, but none-the-less, it is truth).

i am sorry for all i have done, i will always miss you... but i don't know where i am going. i want to die, and for no real reasons do i see to stay in this living state. but i will do it purely for the enjoyment of my own pain and suffering... indefinete, and perpetual pain... by the way, i don't know if i would even bother calling my phone - doubtful it will work after im sure my mom shuts off its service... but i will try and get a hold of you if and when i can...

goodbye jessica, please don't hate me as much as i am sure you do... i am sorry...

nick

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Ok, so he's all poor and pathetic.. I still don't know what happened with his mom or anything. It was all basically just a lie anyways.

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DATE: N/A
FROM: NICK
TO: JESSICA
SUBJECT: the explanation...

look... you have to realize that i was hurt... sooo hurt by what you did to me. Dale told me numerous times that you lied to me about shit. and i'm not just the one talking... he's said some pretty fucked up stuff about you too. i loved you... i do care about you... and i can't believe the way you treated me... i don't even know what to say... i'm sorry i fucked up. i'm sorry you fucked up.

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Ok, this next e-mail was from me to him. A friend of his and mine, Dale, was kind of our middle man. But it turns out Dale was just telling everything to Nick and not saying any of the crappy things he had said about Nick to him for the way he treated me. This is where it totally ends. No more calls, e-mails, visits, etc. (Until 3 months down the road when Sherry breaks up with Nick)

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DATE: N/A
FROM: JESSICA
TO: NICK
SUBJECT: explain this, motherfucker.

you're sorry i fucked up?! that's bullshit - you ruined everything we had, it IS your fault. no sembelence could come after you messed things up - as for that email last night, i didn't want a reply. i don't want one to this. i want you to erase any memory of me or my friends and family. go away. get out of my life. these are the last words i will ever say to you - and for your sake, don't bother saying anymore to me. fuck off.

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Well, that was it. I can't believe someone that had my heart in the palm of his hand chose to crush it like it didn't even exist. Oh well, I'm getting married next year, got a ring and everything - he keeps calling, but I'm not answering.