CASE # 87 : JOHN BROWN + MS. CONFUSED
SUBMITTED BY: JOHN BROWN
INFO: We were together for 10 months, and she dumped me.
FROM: JOHN BROWN
TO: MS. CONFUSED
Dear Ms Confused.
Three weeks ago we were having good conversations, laughing, you were telling me you miss me, you love me, etc. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED????????????? I feel as if I just got run over by a train. You've been talking to someone in your family maybe, and not letting me in on it. Who the fuck are you, if you were just pretending for me?
I am writing this letter just to let you know what I feel. Its not nice, but neither is the situation.You are a confused individual, and flakily impulsive. You blame me for your inability to confront me about things that bug you. You blame the relationship for your shortcomings. Then you internalize your feelings and let them build up until they bust out with some extreme impulsive emotional outburst. You always want your way and no one else's. You're irrationally scared about the smallest things. You need help, maybe some therapy in order to overcome the guilt you feel about sex. You are a beautiful person, but you need a healthy dose of truth and self-awareness. I think you are very confused about what you want.
You claimed you wanted more from me all along, then tell me its you who is holding back! Well, if you don't love yourself, then you will forever spend the time being insecure about your faults. I think you blame the relationship for what is in reality your own personal insecurity and guilt-- about being loved, about your culture, about your sexuality, etc.
You have to stand on your own feet, on something no one else can take away from you. Until then, there will be a gap between who you want to be and who you are, and it will lead to all kinds of emotional turmoil both for you and for those most intimate with you. In other words, you cannot please anyone else-- not me, not your family, no one-- before yourself. Well maybe G-d. :)
Good luck standing on your own two feet, you will never know the hurt I suffered or the pain I will rise above,
John Brown
2 Comments:
Two comments:
1) Flakily. Of all the invented adjectives and adverbs, this one is king.
2) This should be (and in the future, will be) the dictionary definition of the word woman:
"You are a confused individual, and flakily impulsive. You blame me for your inability to confront me about things that bug you. You blame the relationship for your shortcomings. Then you internalize your feelings and let them build up until they bust out with some extreme impulsive emotional outburst. You always want your way and no one else's. You're irrationally scared about the smallest things. You need help, maybe some therapy in order to overcome the guilt you feel about sex. You are a beautiful person, but you need a healthy dose of truth and self-awareness. I think you are very confused about what you want.
You claimed you wanted more from me all along, then tell me its you who is holding back! Well, if you don't love yourself, then you will forever spend the time being insecure about your faults. I think you blame the relationship for what is in reality your own personal insecurity and guilt-- about being loved, about your culture, about your sexuality, etc." (copyright 2008 John Brown)
Two comments as well:
1) dick's clever comment about the definition of a woman exposes his limited experience and his own issues with women. Certainly there are women who fit this narrow definition when it comes to relationships with men, just as there are unevolved men who keep finding themselves attracted to such women. If you want someone who is evolved and secure in their womanhood, you must reach that place in your manhood.
2) John, I applaud your letter. It shows an openess and willingness to engage in honest intimacy. I can see from your depth of insight that you are a person who values relationships and works on himself. Although you stop short of name calling, and the "beautiful person" compliment is a generous touch, I notice a lot of accusing and blaming in your letter. This is a normal first reaction. It is hard for me to tell from this letter just exactly what happened. Did she just stop returning your phone calls? Did she actually say some of these things in her breakup with you? Sometimes it is more empowering to just state the unfolding of events as you see them and let them speak. These are unrefutable, whereas your insights into Ms Confused's state of being may or may not hit home with her.
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