Saturday, July 19, 2008


INFO: We met in college because we worked together...What was originally kind of a booty call/work relationship survived through moving, graduation, new jobs, new apartments... but the majority of the time it was long distance (about an hour away). Oh, yeah and Johnny Depp refused to commit to a real relationship; no holidays were ever celebrated between the two and he didn't want to meet her family. After three years and I gave him an ultimatum (Either you want to be together or its over because I can't keep doing the in limbo thing.) He said No. Only to be fair, I should mention that Kate would break things off from time to time and then go back.


I think about who you are and I think you're amazing. I think about your general treatment of me and the time we spent together and I think it is retarded.

Not in several years of dating (or whatever you want to call it) did you pay me a compliment, get me a flower, surprise me, whisper one nice thing in my ear or kiss me for no reason. What planet are you from? Seriously, are you an alien?
You say you were distant for a reason. As far as I can tell you life has been pretty normal, but whatever thing hurt you, you couldn't even tell me about; the girl who outside of your family cared about you the most. I wanted you, I tried to give you whatever I thought you wanted. I tried to love you and it was almost impossible.

I am happy to be mostly over this. . .I really hope you find what your looking for. I really hope you get happy again and feel like your old self. The pre-Kate self. I really, really hope you succeed in everything. And I really hope that you look back at me with a smile, not as an idiot person that tried too hard but as a person that loved you.




You should go and get checked by the doctor for bipolar disorder. Your emotions are all over the chart when it comes to being happy, angry or upset. It is true that I never bought you flowers but everything else on your list was done by me, even if you don't remember or just wanted to complain some more. This email is not meant to degrade you but I am sick and tired of you telling me how fucked up of a person I am, and how you loved me so much. I kept seeing you because I thought that you could manage your actions and keep a consistent mind state emotionally, and that perhaps with time we would get along better and understand each other's needs.

I have always respected what you believe to be true and have given you your space when it was needed. It is impossible for me to count how many time you told me that we were over and you never wanted to see me again, but this was the last time. It was impossible for us to cheat on each other because we were never officially a couple, but I was loyal to my partner (you) for the last however many years we were seeing each other (which isn't true for you).

I am in no way trying to say that I am perfect or that I don't have any emotional problems, because I know that I do. I have been very patient in letting you get your frustration and anger out concerning me (I don't how you became so upset with me when you are the one who said bye to me.... several times) but I have to stand up for myself sometime. It is sad that things ended up this way ruining our friendship over some childish name calling a pouting (never getting enough gifts or this like kisses whenever you felt in necessary).

Now I have been forced to stoop to your level and do the blame game. I would be lying if I said that I didn't miss your company, however it is better for both of us if we go our own ways. It sounds to me like you are having no problem getting into the dating game and I hope you realize what it is you are looking for in a man. You should also tell him what you expect of him, and don't hide how you feel or what he can or must do to keep you happy. You always told me that you had no extraordinary expectations of me or that you required special attention, but that was obviously not the case. Just be honest and true to yourself and you will live a happy and successful future.

Be Safe,
P.S. these letters are no fun to write or read so let's not bash each other any more please.


It sucks, b/c I think we are the two worst people together but I still want you. . . but I want to be happy more, so I don't have a problem ending it.

-I told you that I want to be together since the begining, you made it clear you didn't want that, so I dated whoever I wanted. I thought things got more serious last summer, so as long as we were talking I didn't see anyone else. I didn't want to see anyone else physically or emotionally but I still felt single. The person I wanted didn't want me back. I had already waited for you for several years. What was I supposed to be faithful to? the idea of us possibly one day being in a relationship?

-I don't even feel like we have a friendship.

-I don't miss your company, b/c I don't feel like you were ever mine. I do miss the sex but even that kind of made me feel empty. I was having sex with someone I really cared about and it was emotional for me, but your side seemed just physical but of course I never knew because you never would say anything. You'd walk out of the hotel room without a smile or a second glance. The only time I hear you saying you cared in these emails is where you tell me that I'm crazy.

-I totally misunderstand you and don't get you at all, because you say that you did care and I very rarely saw it. I felt like the majority of the time you spent with me was b/c you didn't have something better to do, or b/c you hadn't had sex in awhile not b/c you wanted to see me.

-I don't need constant attention, presents or called a lot but half the time you were annoyed so I didn't know what to do except shut up. When I make a stupid list of the things you never did it isn't b/c those were the specific things I wanted but those are things people do when they like another person, they try to make sure the other person couldn't possibly doubt how they feel about them.

You could write me a note and I would frame it. Did you see the pic of you up on my wall? It said: "Did the Sun come out or was that your smile?" Cheesy, but that is how much I loved it (your smile). AND I told those things, I told you I liked the way you touched me, the way you walked, the way you kissed my back, you eyes, your hands. It was annoying, or at least you seemed annoyed and told me stop.

-I told you what I wanted from you. I wanted you to love me and that is pretty much it. When a girl feels that nothing else really matters. I told you when I wanted you to attend something with me, I told you little things I wanted to do together, I told you I wanted you to kiss my back, that I wanted to move in together, I asked if you cared. If you didn't want to do it then it was done. You would say no or stop to my affections. I'd get fed up with the way you treated me, your moodiness, and tell you I didn't want to see you anymore. An immature way of dealing with rejection, a more mature person wouldn't have come back over and over.

I just want to be happy and not waste my feelings anymore.


Kate Moss
PS: yea, you are super patient. (but so was I)


Blogger said...

Wow. I can't believe I'm talking to Kate Moss. And since it's the Kate Moss from a decade ago and not today, this is exciting.

First off, thanks for sharing, Kate Moss. I think the way you ended it might've been a little less mature than what you were going for but at the same time I get that you had to dig up some animosity to push him away. I also think it's big that you told us you ended it a few times only to go back.

I get the vibe that you're still totally into him and do miss him but respect the fact that you're leaving a half assed relationship to go after what you want, something more full-time and more fulfilling.

To carry on, here are some questions you can answer if you want. Fellow readers please feel free to throw in your 2 cents or questions.

1) If I were to guess, you're not just looking for the first guy who will buy you flowers, so what do you want in a man?

2) Is the picture of him still on your wall, what are your plans for it?

3) "I just want to be happy and not waste my feelings anymore"
This is a sweet affirmation. How do you plan to achieve it?

love always,

8:54 PM, July 19, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Haha, I thought for a moment that this was the real Kate Moss and Johnny Depp!

[Kate attended college in the UK, obviously, while Johnny didn't even get there.]

PS: My dad never bought my mom any flowers, but they're still together. :) They've been happily married for 25 years.

12:45 AM, July 20, 2008  
Blogger said...

happily married...something we rarely hear around here.

what if flowers are what's actually ruining marriages? no. ok.

8:44 PM, July 22, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have told guys to not buy me flowers. I think Kate is looking for a guy who shows affection in the little ways. She had to ask this guy to kiss her back and that should have been her first clue that he wasn't who she wanted. Sorry that you wasted that much time with him, Kate.

6:22 PM, July 23, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kate Moss here.
1. What do I want in a man? I want someone who I think is smart, fun, amazing, funny and treats me well...and thinks those same things about me. Maybe that is too vague. I really liked Johnny because he did have a lot of self control and all the qualities listed above...but in my opinion never treated me special..infact I would say he treated people he had just met better than me. I could hear it in the tone of his voice, he would make eye contact with them and not me. I am not a girly, whinny, girl, but I do like flowers. While they are not a necessary they were just an example in this situation...he could have brought me an apple from his mom's garden and I would have been happy.
2. The picture was taken down and is now in my picture box, I will probably put it in the scrap book of my life, which is quite large and not that much of an honor...but I don't have that much anomosity to get rid of it.
3. I think I am already achieving my affirmation. I got a new job that I worked really hard for; where I get to use both of my degrees and is deffinitly an accomplishment. Otherwise I am just spending time on myself, enjoying the summer, my spin class, my friends and the goals I want to accomplish. I recently became debt free. I went skydiving. I am paying attention to my personal relationships with the my friends and family and trying to be the person I want to be.
-thanks, Kate Moss
PS: I did talk to Johnny tonight for the 1st time in a month. It seems he is sick of me calling him a bad person/asshole (by saying that he never treated me good). I tried to explain that I just never felt that he cared and the fact that he never wanted to be together showed me that; he of course said that was ridiculous and that was excatly the kind of thinking that he didn't want to be with.
I think at the ages of 25 and 26 we should be able to make a little more sense than this..but obviously we are just wrong together.

2:46 AM, July 28, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

who doesn't kiss someone's back in bed pre or post sex???

-kate moss

2:55 AM, September 30, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey cyber world. . .Johnny is calling Kate in the middle of the night and I am ignoring is hard. But seriously. .i want someone who isn't going to jerk me around.

8:15 PM, November 05, 2008  

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